Jessica's Cloud

Supernatural: the French mistake

2012-02-08T07:03:00.002+08:00

I've been watching the TV series Supernatural recently. Trying to catch up all the 7 seasons. So, today I chose the episode 15 from season 6: The French mistake, where Dean and Sam are sent to a world where they are Jensen and Jared. I have to say this episode is soooo freaking hilarious. I've only seen 10 minutes of the episode so far, but haven't stopped laughing yet.
I mean the actual concept of this episode is great. But for an actor, I wonder how is it like, to be acting as himself. Or rather, acting like the character that has to acting like the actor. Wow, that's a bit mind frying. So basically Jensen Ackles has to act as Dean, who on the other hand has to act like Jensen. And Jared has to do the same with character Sam. No wonder I like this episode so much. World inside a world. nerve cracking and mind frying, but all the more fun to watch.

2012-01-25T06:18:00.002+08:00

"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself."
in «Nikita»

A cat's talk

2012-01-21T02:55:00.002+08:00

Finally exams are over. So my friends and I went for a cup of tea. There we sat and talked.
The tea house had lots of cats, most of them looked stray. But there was a black one with a collar. Me and my friends were happily chatting when the cat with a collar decided to join us. The black cat ran across the ground between the tables and stood there on a bench beside of the customers, with its eyes wide open in a stare. A moment later, it was gone again. Then, we heard it. A meow. then, again, and again, and again and again. We turned around and there they were. Two black cats. One of them, a stray was just sitting quietly, but one with the collar kept going on a continuous caterwaul. Zorro, the cat with collar that my friends named afterwards jokingly, sat and stood, aproached and back away from the unknow stray black cat for about entire 10 minutes. Our unknown cat, which a friend of mine determined was a female, was a total ice block, completely ignoring Zorro's behavior. It seemed like, we unexpectedly landed in the middle of a mating process. I mean, it is Winter, it is not eactly known as a mating season, but...
After 10 minutes of continuous caterwaul that sounded more like a baby's cry, Zorro, finally gave up. It left a few steps, and then jumped over the wall. After it left, we heard a very low piercing sound. Then we realized it was the unknown cat. It was hissing. Maybe that's why our galant Zorro finally understood he was not welcome and left.
It was a nice afternoon spent in the tea house, with an unexpected out of season show that totally made my day.
Tomorrow there is more, for I'll probably be trying to catch the sunrise, again.

Tatta hitotsu no koi

2012-01-11T06:42:00.005+08:00

"Tatta hitotsu no koi" also known as "Just one love" is a Japanese drama about the love story between an innocent college student from a wealthy family, Nao (Ayase Haruka), and a poor factory worker, Hiroto (Kamenashi Kazuya). In a way, it's a storyline that's somewhat cliché. But, while studying for my exams, I couldn't help but watch it to relieve some stress. After all, it's only 10 episodes long.
It is a very simple story about how two people from two very different social classes meet by chance and fall in love. It was the best drama I've seen in a while. It totally reminded me of the movie Koizora. The plot is fairytale like indeed, but it was moving. There are so many movies and dramas about love that I get numb, but this one in particular touched me. And the soundtrack used in the drama helped the mood a lot. I specially love the main theme "Cool whispers", it's a bit melancholic, but beautiful.
And with that, I'll be back to my studies with a bit more motivation and higher spirits.

2011-12-30T23:10:00.002+08:00

We stand at the turning of ages, looking at the past, thinking about the future. History repeats itself, again and again. We keep walking forward, but keep walking forward, in circles, going round and round and round...

End of semester!

2011-12-07T06:36:00.004+08:00

Finally, time for myself. The semester is nearly over, and now I only have to worry about an exam coming up in two weeks.
Funny thing is this time for myself turned out to be time sorta dedicated to a friend. It is monday morning. One of my best friends turns to me and asks, "you are going straight to your parents' on wednesday, right?" That was correct. "Then please bring a big bag because I'm going to give you a christmas gift." What? A chritsmas gift? It is acceptable yeah, but you could have told me a bit sooner no? Turns out that now, tuesday night, I'm staying awake to make a christmas gift for her. I had returned late home because of some research stuff and I still managed to finish her present. Oh my, I'm such a good friend. Haha, just kidding.
Now, truly when I wanted to enjoy some movie or something, my internet kicks me out. All right, you know what? I'm just gonna sleep. Very much needed sleep.
Bye cold strict college, hi warm soft bed.

When leisure is too much.

2011-12-01T06:52:00.007+08:00

Here I am. Listening to several people tell stories of everyday.
The most amazing one is an everyday bus trip. I can't be sure how much of it is actually true. After all, when telling a story a person unconsciously add some more details, exaggerate a bit.
So, this girl steps on a bus with a big bag and she would get out the next stop. But someone complained about the size od her bag and said she was in the way. She tried to explain that she would get out the next stop, but, predictably, no one heard the explanation. The bus turned into a debate centre. People talking about youth with disregard.
But honestly, just how much spare time do you have to start complaining about something you don't know? Does everyone need to have an opinion about everything? This is a talkative community, I know that much. But sometimes, it just makes me wonder, isn't this giving an opinion about everything no matter you understand the situation or not, just a way to vent out some of our internal anger or displeasure?
She also told that once she was distracted and stepped on a nearly empty bus, and someone push her to the side, because she was not the first one who got the station. Was it really necessary?
Neither situations happened to me. But I've seen the first happen many times. Isn't everyone's life just as complicated? Do we really need to hear, most of the times, unfair comments about our character? Does everyone have to have an opinion about everything? What if they turned that effort in something useful?
Criticism is needed, true. But it's not just criticism. Suggestions for how to make it better are also needed, but it takes more work to make suggestions than criticize. So, I don't see many people giving suggestions. Honestly, that's what we are in need of, that's what we are lacking now.

sunrise

2011-11-12T19:58:00.000+08:00

It's saturday morning, and I never thought I'd find so many people on the streets.
For the first time in a long while, I got up and out of the house before sunrise. If I'm lucky today, I'll get to see the sunrise. Always shiny, full of hope. When I looked at the sky, I saw an odd picture. The sky looked like a stripped blue T-shirt.The clouds were dark blue and the sky was light. It reminded me a lot of those polos that were once fashionable.

On the streets, small groups of people walking around reminded me, yes, yesterday was friday. Meaning, most people were out enjoying their night life. Honestly, I don't have one. I'm not an owl nor a cat. I enjoy going out at night once in a while, yes, but I like sunrise better. Even though I haven't really been waking up early lately, I still prefer dawn to night.
The sun is rising, The diference is huge. The sky is still stripped, but now, in a different way. Let's think of it as a change of clothes. Yes, I'm a girl, I do think a lot about clothing. So now it wears a blue and orange stripped T-shirt. I don't like that combination too much, but given the orange tone is so light is almost looks white, it somewhat looks good. Porto has an airport, so it's not very uncommon to see planes flying by, but this one looks extremely funny. The small aircraft (it looked small, doesn't mean it was small) flew exactly along the line that separeted the dark blue clouds form the orange sky. It looked like one of those kids contouring the drawing.
The hills in the distance looks like spirit mountain or something like that. I'm not sure if there was fog in town today, but there, the fog made the hills look like it was placed in the clouds, a holy place. What I would give to have a camera here.When the sky gets all too bright, it means the sun is up and the fog is bound to disappear soon. The meaning of watching sunrise is now gone, but the goal of sunrise itself has accomplished.
It's a new day, a day like everyday, but also, a day like no other.

11-11-11

2011-11-12T00:35:00.002+08:00

11-11-11 is my new unlucky day. No not friday 13. Friday 13 has not given me much bad luck. But 11-11-11 turned out to be one of the unluckiest days of this year. I'm not going to say it was the unluckiest of my life, because I still have some time to live on, but it really could be.
I hate it when I try to do something and nothing gets done. That's today. I had Medicinal lab evaluation. The procedure went well, all right. But I didn't have time to finish writing my report. I was trying to apply for an animal experimentation course for which I did not want to pay at all. So I tried pass the matter onto my teacher and supervisor, but then, today, I got their answer. Their project can't pay for my course, so I have to pay it myself. I wasn't interested in it from the beginning, but I know it may be important for the experiments the next semester, so I guess I just have to take the course and pay for it myself. I tried to return home, well, to my parents' house, but CP went on strike again and there is no train. I didn't want to go home by bus because it was very expensive, but either way, the last bus was already gone by the time I arrived at the train station.

NaNo Month

2011-11-04T23:28:00.002+08:00

November is here. It's NaNoWriMo (National novel writing month). I have so many things piled up that I've forgotten all about this writing event. There I go, late, but nevertheless, enthusiastic. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to make it to the end this time, but who knows, maybe a miracle happens and I actually get to win the event this year.
Other than that, both new seasons of NCIS Los Angeles and Nikita are going on strong. Those shows make studying while watching TV totally worthwhile. I so want to watch this week's nikita episode. The last one left things in a bit of a cliffhanger, now I want to know what happens next.

Unlucky week

2011-10-16T23:43:00.002+08:00

Here I go complaining about my life, yet again.
This wednesday, when I had an important experiment and related hand-outs to fill in for evaluation, my group members decided to ditch me in class. Great! I had to do my work with someone else, which was not bad at all. But, on the other hand, I have to do the hand-out alone. I really have great colleagues, don't I?

Second frustrating thing is to get my name messed up. My name is considered weird in the place I live. People think it is so weird, they just want to make it even weirder. The thing is, I spotted this huge mistake on my newly requested citizenship card, in which my surname was spelled wrong. That is not the problem. The problem is that I only spotted it after a day. And given that it's weekend right now, I have to wait till monday to get this thing solved.

To add to that, my car went dead. Yesterday, I decided to rest a bit longer and not to go shopping. Today, when I finally went down the stairs to get my car, I found out it wouldn't start. It didn't sound like the battery was not charged, it sounded more like, well, like the car just refused to start up. I like that car. I can do a lot of 'bad things' to it and it would still work perfectly. Now, I guess it just decided to go on strike. I really don't get it. Why so sudden?!

Just how did I get rid of my only tiny piece of luck? I definitely had better weeks than this one.

Recollection

2011-09-24T20:54:00.003+08:00

Too influenced by people around me.
I realized just how much I'm influenced by the people around me. I've been pulled down by the people surrounding me. I'm getting weak and lazy. Too lazy to trouble myself to try for more. I stopped pushing myself forward, instead, I just go with the flow, satisfied with mediocrity.
When tidying a drawer, my mom found a t-shirt from six years ago when me and my partner accomplished the unexpected. It was a maths competition in junior high. No one in our grade, first year in junior high, ever finished the 20 levels of the quiz. But that year, we did it. That was one of my best years. Since 10th grade, three years later, it has been a spiral downwards.
Remembering those moments, I remember what they used to say to me. 'Keep it up', 'good job' and 'you are amazing'. My self love is huge, and I really need to go back to those days. I wonder if I should move again, to a place where people challenge me to do more.

Anxious week

2011-09-09T00:51:00.002+08:00

I feel like the price i'm paying it's too high.
First of all, I probably need a job to be happy, which I don't have because I have no social skills.
I hate when I get nothing done, and have to wait for other people to do their part. I never know when they will remember to do it. I hate it when things are not in my hands. I can only go with the flow, totally in a passive state. I wonder how many times I've cried only this week. I've been crying too much recently and no one really needs to know, but I just feel better.
I'm starting to wonder if the price I'm paying it's too high. Given the circumstances, the best thing I could do is to stop going to college for a while, but I don't really want to do that, and also I don't think that's what my parents want. I really should stop studying and start working just for the sake of being near my mom. But now, all I can do is try to balance between what I want and what I feel obliged to do because of family duty. This is going to be a hard year. I hope I achieve something I can be satisfied about, or else, this price won't be worth paying.

parking tickets

2011-09-06T21:48:00.003+08:00

Today, I got to see how economy changed the country. We used to joke that around Christmas time, we'd better bind by the parking rules, because police usually was out searching parking tickets to pass for their Christmas bonus or something. Today, Semptember, I saw four policemen in a street I frequently walk writing parking tickets.
The street was narrow and there were a lot of places where only one car could pass each time. It wasn't allowed to park on that street, but that didn't stop the drivers from parking. Today, for the first time, I saw police fining those people. The police here is known for being comprehensive and lenient on parking tickets. The scene I saw today made me wonder, are they acumulating their Christmas bonus with three months in advance? Or is it just that the economy of this country is so bad, they are even trying to get some money for their salaries from parking tickets?
Next time I drive, I'd want to be careful not to be fined.

Baby me

2011-09-06T03:51:00.002+08:00

I'm starting to wonder just how weak I am. I can't take a set back well, not even the smallest of it.
I just can't believe crying is becoming a habit. A bad habit. Though now that I've cried, I feel much better. Why do I have to cry all the time? I wasn't that weak or frail.
I've become a bitter self centered person. I changed, I acknowledge that. The confident, strong me had turned into smoke vanishing in the air. Now, in place of that me, this one is weak, self-loathing, self-centered and bitter. I'm seriously thinking that I might be depressed, but then again, I don't contemplate the possibility of suicide, ever. (or maybe that's just me being too coward to even take my own life.) I really don't know I get so upset with the slightest thing that deviates from what I want. I feel sick. I feel like taking a break from the world, but then again, I'm already not very sociable. If I take a break, I'll be totally isolated when I come back.
I need to emerse myself in work so I can be stressed over unhappy. How is that supposed to work? I've become lazy. I clearly need to get the strong confident me back. This world as it is won't allow me to back off and close into a shell to protect my weak ego.

Yet another bad day

2011-09-04T23:01:00.002+08:00

Negative energies seem to be acumulating in the house. Frustration, anger, resignation, helplessness. Fights seem to be more and more frequent at home. I began to hate this place. I was glad several times before that I calmed down. But now, seems rather difficult not to get angry.
Things are just not going smoothly. Everyone had their own problems to solve, and together there are even more problems. Anger just keeps acumulating.
At home, we smile and joke many times. I used to think that we developped to a better family from the always serious family that left home so many times silent as a grave. Now, I don't think we are that much better. I'm starting to get the feeling that all those jokes are not heartedly felt and were only there to cover for the anger beneath. I wonder how long will this last.

2011-09-04T20:13:00.005+08:00

trouble day

2011-09-03T05:49:00.002+08:00

Today is definitely not my day. My mother seemed to not want to get better at all. That, I could have handled easily as this is not that rare. Me getting all angry and frustrated at my stubborn mom.
What more to add to today was that I emailed my school about my registration for this year. They replied me telling me the registration was not valid. Great! Just something more to add to my outbreaking toothache. What an awesome way to begin my weekend! Now, there I go trying to figure out how I'll make them bypass this small little problem and validate my registration. This is going to be so much trouble. I should have known better not to bother with that extra subject, but what can I do? I have already promised my teacher I'd do it. Oh, such big trouble coming...

Conclusion

2011-09-01T05:03:00.002+08:00

Finally, finally done with it on the last day. There we go, I finished camp nano on time!! Awesome, I feel satisfied. It's the first time ever I finished telling a story.

Now, it's time for a new school year. Off I go.

Camp Nano last days

2011-08-30T07:15:00.003+08:00

I'm still on the run for Camp NaNoWriMo. I have 5000 words and so to write in two days. Actually, I already finished the novel. I had been rewrite scenes and adding some scenes along the road. But now, here I am. I am at this point, two days from the end without more scenes to add, and with 5k to go to break the 50k goal.
I feel so fail right now. But writing during all this month made me realize that after all I may be not suited for science? I've been feeling more and more incredibly stupid the more I learn in college. My grades went down a bit last semester. I'm starting to question myself if this is really what I wanted. Working on this novel made me realize how much happier I would be being an artist. Then again, if I want a job in which I can be not the best in what I do, art is not for me.
With the school year starting, I'm losing motivation to do anything at all. I'm confuse. I don't like to be confuse. I always knew what I wanted and worked hard for it. Now, I'm confuse. What should I really work on?
I'll leave this question for after the end of Camp NaNo and the start of the new academic year. For now, I have to focus on finding the remaining 5k. Once I'm in the competition, I will definitely go all the way till the end.

Inspiration

2011-08-23T01:46:00.003+08:00

Inspiration is something that comes when you never expect it to. I'm still doing this Camp NaNoWriMo thing. So far, I'm a bit behind the schedule, but I don't mind. I actually got to write. It takes most of the time in my day, but I'm still happy.
I had my own share times with no inspiration. But also, sometimes, the most insignificant thing can be inspiring. I won't tell about the other ordinary days when ordinary things inspired me to write a scene. Today, I just want to tell, I got a new idea for a story. I have no idea what kind of story it is going to be, just that it will be different. I want to challenge different styles and genres.

"Game over"
That's when everything began.

that's the start for my new story. I still have no idea what genre it will be, I can imagine something rather interesting coming out. It came to me when I was reading some threads in the Adoption Society forum of NaNoWriMo. I was reading 'adopt an epitah' when I came across this ordinary, yet amazing epitah. then I asked myself, if it wasn't an epitah, what it would be?
Ask yourself. there is a different answer in everyone.

ant farm

2011-08-16T03:14:00.005+08:00

Ant farms were a kind of hobby. That's the idea I had. I don't know how people keep them only inside the aquarium looking thing, but they do. I think it's sort of fascinating to have an ant farm, because, oh well, the tunnels they make are somewhat impressive.
What's more impressive is the natural ant farm I found inside my house! I hate to say it, but I don't like ants, not the slightest. The reason is because they annoy me so much getting into my house and stealing my food. It's not the first time that we found hundreds and hundreds of ants clinging onto something we were supposed to eat. The last time, was my pack of lemon cream biscuits, which wasn't suprising because I always knew ants liked sweet stuff. This time, though, they surprised me, me and my whole family.
A pack of nuts. That's where we found our ant farm this time. Not even two months ago, we sprayed ant poison around the house because the weather was very hot and every afternoon our house would be infested by thousands of small annoying ants. They are harmless, indeed, I know, but still annoying. We thought, oh well, we're going to have peace from ants for a while. But I guess not.
Ants started to appear on my desk, on the sofa and one even emerged from my computer! We searched for the source: the pack of nuts I bought two weeks ago. The ants carried these tiny bits of nut and proceeded towards the varanda, where they usually come from. But there was no trail of ants near the varanda. then, where did they come from?
Our sofa was the correct answer. Apparently they used the sponge from inside our sofa to building a small empire. wow, what builders! I can't believe we kept a natural ant farm for so long! Unfortunately, I'm gonna have to get rid of that, since I don't like ants climbing onto my body when I try to rest on the sofa.
Bye, ants. Enjoy yourselves else where, just not in my house.

creativity

2011-08-12T05:52:00.004+08:00

I wonder what creativity is. Doing the camp NaNoWriMo, I do get a small taste of what creativity might be.
I'm doing my best to beat the daily word amount everyday, though I have to almost write all day long to do that. Today, for a change, I got up earlier. My parents weren't home, so it gets easier for me to write. But after two hours, I just wrote miserably 200 or so words. Sometimes, inspiration is really important. A few days ago, I went out for a bit and saw a bunch of flying pigeons. It was a very common scene, but it made me feel odd. When I sat in front of my computer when I returned home, I wrote that scene into my story. As simple as that. Inspiration comes and you just need a bit thinking to put that to use. Creativity, I find it hard to find. You take nothing and make it become something tangible.
My mind went dry one hour ago. I still feel like working on my story a bit, but I guess that's it for today. Creativity is faltering.... What can I do?

Bang on the Wall

2011-08-08T21:27:00.009+08:00

Today is a bad day. August 8th, 2011. Actually, to say that today is a bad day is the greatest understatement I've ever used. Today will be the day that I, little me of 19 years old, successfully made my little family of 3 cry at the same time.
I've held my anger and frustration for so long that, today, to the smallest drop of water, my tears were shed like a flowing river that just broke a dam. I couldn't stop them, I just felt more and more anguish each time I tried to hold them in. I should just have hit the wall times enough to make my anger go away. But I didn't because that would do too much noise and pretty much break the bones of my hand.
Usually after I cry, I feel less angry and relieved. I always pretend that nothing happened after my tears dried, wether my parents noticed and didn't say a thing or didn't even notice, I don't know. But this time, it was different. When I came out of the bathroom with my eyes red, but already dry, I noticed my mother wiping her tears and my dad trying to hold them in.
Great, I managed to out my family crying due to my unfornately not very timely angry disapproval of my mother's behaviour. I felt guilty, but not very much. Sometimes, I get the feeling that my mother needs to hear something strong and naked, not sugar-coated to make her realize the situation she's in.
Don't mind this. Writing it down is just one of my whims to make me feel better.

NaNoWriMo

2011-07-31T21:09:00.003+08:00

Today I was feeling completely useless and hopeless. But, someone made me open my eyes. It made me not only feel a bit better about myself, but also it made me realise what I'm good at, and what I should do with my life. I always complain about not having time to write decently, then, someone suggested NaNoWriMo. I heard of it once when a friend of mine was furiosly writing to increase her word count. So I checked this website and found it quite interesting. The goal is to write 50k words from the scratch in a month. The main event is in November, not a very good time for me. Someone invited me to an August camp, but I declined. For August, my plan is just to try and finish some of my started works. I'm positive that I'll finish the last one I started. As for NaNoWriMo, I think I just found a very good way to start the first draft manuscript for a story anew. I'm in need of that, and NaNoWriMo implies 50k words in a month, very good for a start. There is going to be a lot of crap, but I think, it'll be just fine for the genre of novel I'm thinking of doing.

For anyone interested in these events as well,
http://www.nanowrimo.org/
and add me as buddy too! =)
http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/828810

累了

2011-07-13T04:08:00.004+08:00

累了。莫明其妙的累了。一天一天就这么过着。不知不觉，麻木了。活着有太多的约束。

累了。因为自由不在。自由也许只是有钱人的奢侈，但是我还是最爱自由。

大学，家务，未来的事业。简简单单的三件事能把我捆地实实的。选择，是什么？有太多的事是别无选择的。也许这么活着是我的选择，但是按社会的规则，我有义务做这些事。

我很喜欢我的专业，但是我学累了。我不是跑马拉松的料，没法这个速度坚持那么久。不止一次想休学在家里干家务，但是也许这只是逃避的方式。

太多的选择题，而通常社会只会给你一个选项。

厌倦和无奈变成了家常便菜。恨变成了心底的常客。无数次想向世界尖叫，却又不敢。

累了。我想发泄。我想玩。想归想，好像今天还没有勇气。

São João night

2011-06-26T03:55:00.003+08:00

It was cold and windy, though summer was should have already come. Nonetheless, the sky was clear. It made my night.
Lights of lanterns and stars. Also, small fireworks from time to time. I was surprised. It looked like magic, a night taken out of fairytales.
According to tradition, laterns are lit to fill up the sun. As after solstice, the days begin to shorten, laterns and sent out flying to the sun.
It really wasn't that much of a big deal, but I love gazing at the sky. And this year, at São João, the night sky was the best of my life.

daily babble

2011-06-19T17:06:00.006+08:00

I'm so seriously screwed for my next exam, which is tomorrow. Just yesterday, I found out that I had a lot more to know, more than half. I get so frustrated when I actually work hard and the result is the same as if I did nothing. I can't even express how angry I was. I'm so pissed at myself. I really should work as hard as my friends. Actually I never really fought for anything like that's what I really want, and nothing else would do. I always just accepted things like they are. Guess I'm not much of a revolution girl.
Moving on, by chance, I heard the song that made me watch anime again after half dozen years. Still think it's one of the most amazing songs I've ever heard. Never felt so touched by a song it totally creeps me out.
I'm starting to feel a bit better as things are starting to sink in. So, maybe until tomorrow, I'll get to know everything that's important. As I heard someone say, Prepare for the worst, Hope for the best.

A day at pigeon's lair

2011-05-31T21:53:00.002+08:00

Today morning, I decided to sing for a while when I couldn't keep studying. A couple of pigeons landed on my varanda. Maybe to hear me sing (kidding), more like just to find food. The thing is. That couple kept walking forth and back like they were gallanting. Is it because of the season? or just because it's sunny today? Either way. I'm barely home so I don't get to observe, yes observe not just watch and see. That couple was pretty cute, until a third pigeon came. Am I watching a love triangle? haha. Who knows... My voice is not as sweet as it used to be, nor I sing as well as I used to do, so maybe I scared those little flying things. They went away flying when I was singing my last song.
It's afternoon now. I'm sitting in front of my computer trying to study though I'm not being very successful. Six pigeons landed to snack. All happy back and forth, while I was calling my mom on the phone. And the snack, they decided to just stay and rest. For a moment, they were so still that I thought they were mumies. One of them really looks like it's dead. Hasn't moved for at least a quarter. If I was a painter I'd be in ecstasy. It's not everyday that you can have pigeons standing still and model for you. Man, I want to take a picture of this scene. Too bad I don't have a camera at hand.
Oh! One of the pigeons, let's call him Mark decided to go snack again. Its beak knocking on the curb sounds like drums. I say, Mark, have you ever thought that your vocation maybe drummer and not just pigeon? XD.

fate

2011-05-18T04:18:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, on my way to university, I met my Physics and Chemistry teacher from High School. The guy is still as smug as always. He asked me about stuff in college, and commented as if he knew how it is like, but he really doesn't. University these days are a lot different from how they used to be. Maybe it's the Bologne thing? Don't know if it's good or bad. I'm just not your average girl. Not that my grades are that good, it's quite average as a matter of fact, but I want to be the best.

Moving on, today, at aNfo radio chatterbox, I met two people. They were from the same country, almost same city, same university, same faculty and even same course! How funny is that? Among all the people in the world, among all the people that registered on that website, to find one that close to you. THAT, I call FATE.

Give up

2011-05-13T00:10:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I feel like everything I do, I turn out giving up on it. Two of the three novels I was writing back in High school went on hold for almost 2/3 years now. College takes alot of time, but mostly I'm just getting lazy. I don't wanna push my head to spill just some words and write it down. I want to actually write something that is interesting and meaningful and wroth reading. Thing is that I don't have the time to sit and brainstorm stuff to write and continue those novels. So, I guess 2/3 years of hiatus is too much. Everytime I try to keep writing I have to read everything from the begining so I actually know what I was thinking and what I wanted to write back then.
That is to say. I have one novel left. Also, the only one that's written in english. I hope I'll finish it in a couple of years after doing some research on the thing.
Something that bugs me is that I have no lack of ideas for book and novels and stories. What I don't have to the talent to write it down in an appealing way and also, the time to write down some fantastic ideas I have. (Well, the last part is just me boasting a bit.) Just a couple of days ago, when I was returning from a clinic, I just build in my mind a very original story. Well, not that original. But, actually, I have never read any novels regarding the concept I had in mind. But, whatever I was thinking, it will have to wait until I end college and find a decent job.
One day, when my english is on a more proficient level, I'm sure I will write and FINISH a novel.

Burqas

2011-04-12T06:35:00.003+08:00

Today, I had an interesting discution about Burqas. It all came by when one of my friends mentioned that it is now prohibited the use of Burqa in France. Some of us were against it, some of us agreed. The discution about tolerance and cultural differences was quite on, which led to several side talks. One of them was the thing we call equality. Then, despite our devious opinions on the allowance of Burqa in a non-muslin country, we reached a suprising consensus. All of us agreed that if we want there to be equal footing for everyone, then the use of garments like Burqa is more likely to work than what we, in the West, use on a daily basis.

Equal footing. That's really something to think about. Despite all people try to say how equal the western society and culture is, it never is. The appearances always influence too much in our daily life. "What you see, what you hear, nothing is what is seems." We are so bound to it, that we don't see. People look, but they don't see. One should look at the mirror first, then look at other people. Judging others and not self-judging, that's just self glorification.

I'm hella tired and I've got classes tomorrow early, but I'm glad I had this conversation today. It made me see thing clearer. One day, I wish to become a person who sees things for what they are, not for what they seem.

Spring

2011-04-10T01:54:00.007+08:00

Ah, the weather is good. Spring is here. I'm happy. The phalaenopsis orchid on my table has florished. Purity of white.

Also a couple of unkown plants on my varanda blossomed some shiny yellow flowers.

Quotes from Tsubasa Resevoir Chronicles

2011-04-06T02:41:00.001+08:00

Also know as Tsubasa Chronicles or TRC. These are some quotes taken from the cover of TRC manga chapter. -To those who, like me, love Tsubasa Chronicles.

"Even if tomorrow everything will disappear.
With your smilling by my side,
I don't need anything else."

"so much sadness(...) flows lovely through the stars."

"Two unlucky fellows cross paths...
Is this a joke played by fate...
or an unavoidable destiny?"

"How much will you have to endure before your wish comes true?"

"I will continue to pursue the wish for eternity, as long as it exists somewhere in this world."

"Even when dark clouds cover your smile, even when rain blocks your voice, (...)your heart will not disappear."

"Stop time for the sake of your smile."

"If you lose your way, take a detour and look at th scenery."

"The broken dream is made whole Light seeps out of the future."

"The presence of friends, your existence, creates a lovable time."

"Even if it's dark and tough, just go straight ahead with justice as your light house."

"What is reflected in the eyes of a devil?"

"Will it remain hidden forever...?
strength within fragility,
gentleness within coldness."

"Spread your wings and fly high."

"Joy and sorrow, are both like scattered petals."

"Ying and Yang. Lies and truth. Are like two paths, paths that intersect"

"Without memories of the past, unable to see the future." stand, and believe in your strength.
"Whatever cruelties the final moment may hold, ...times that have passed will not fade."

"What makes blood flow from one hand to another, is not fate, but destiny."

"Even if we are crushed, even if we are defeated, surely, no matter how many times we'll stand up again."

"Carrying all the sins and past that cannot be erased ...step foward once again."

"Like the fleeting stars, the flowing souls," lifes won't return.

"Even should I be wounded, I can still fight."

"Even if the beloved ones leave his side,
he has to keep on living."

My pace

2011-04-06T01:43:00.002+08:00

It's been a while since I felt this happy. But also, I feel uneasy. I don't know, but I feel like I'm worried about something. I actually wonder what I'm worried for. I'm not confident about what I'm going to do. Maybe it's because I'm feeling incredibly dumb. Right now, I'm at a turning point. I'm afraid of walking forward, maybe. I wonder if I can keep up with the world. I guess I have to. I need to hurry. The world won't wait for me, but I can catch it up. And I hope it starts, today.

Spider Man

2011-04-03T21:43:00.005+08:00

I just found a big spider at home. Also, it was a weird looking spider. Black body with a silver strip on it and silver legs. It looks like something drawn, not real. Maybe it's Spider Man... Any spider experts tell me what spider species this one is? As far as I can see, doesn't seem to be poisonous to me. But, one never knows. Also, I don't want an endangered species lurking around my house.

Noblesse Oblige

2011-04-01T22:30:00.004+08:00

Noblesse oblige is a French phrase literally meaning "nobility obliges". -by Wikipedia.org

I came across this quote when I was watching Eden of the East. I didn't realize it's meaning until very late in the show. It means something like 'the obligation of those who have'. And it stroke me. I'm not supposed to be screwing around just because I don't have to worry about surviving. I'm supposed to make something out of my life, and that's not a right, but an obligation.

Also, I believe that world would be a way better place if everyone just tried their hardest to obey this 'noblesse oblige' thing. I think I realized something good today. I'm glad I watched the show, even though I was hesitant at first.

-Noblesse Oblige,

Jess

My dear car

2011-03-14T23:58:00.002+08:00

My dear car,
I'm so sorry I crushed you into a metal fence today. I know, I'm really such a sickening idiot. We just went through the yearly inspection smoothly. Why would I just bump into that metal thing?!
Just how stupid can I be?! Maybe it was my mind drifting, like, oh! we passed the inspection, let's crush it somewhere, haha! Not funny, not funny at all. So, official apology issued.

Sincerely sorry,

your driver

You who want to be the best

2011-03-14T23:24:00.002+08:00

You who want to be the best, how far are you willing to go?
Ask yourself the question, what are you aiming for? What's your goal? Be brave. Chances are for who dares.
"Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration." So, how hard are you willing to work to achieve your goal? Do you have what it takes to be the best? Ask yourself. Don't rush the answer, be wise. "Is the juice worth the squeeze?" Know your priorities. Focus on what actually matters. What are you trying to pull off? Think twice, double check.
Have you ever asked yourself, maybe you're not doing enough, maybe you're not trying hard enough. Look around, and see the truth for itself. See, not just watch it go by. What's beneath all those people you see, find it out. There's always more than what meets the eye.
Now, look inside yourself. Do you have what others have? Do have what others don't have? Focus. World is not a friend to just anyone. If you know yourself, and know what you want, then, are you going to get it?
You who want to be the best, how much are you willing to risk?

Commute on March 11th

2011-03-12T02:50:00.000+08:00

This is a mess. Currently I'm on an inexistent train. No one at the station knew if this train would make the trip. CP is striking during this month. It's going to be a big big mess. When I arrived at the station, there was only one board that said there would be a train departing at 13:55 on platform 7, this train. But on the platform itself, the board clearly said 'The next train isn't a passenger train.' Which is weird. Then, someone asked a CP worker, probably ticket clerk in the next train departing at 14:14. He didn't know if there was going to be a 13:55 train.
Tik, tok. A couple minutes from 13:55, announcement 'The train stationed at platform 6 will be departing to Aveiro at 13:55.' What the...!!!!! What's more, the board on the platform 6 said clearly 'departing at 14:14 to Aveiro' and it never changed, not even after this train took off. How great..............
This reminds me of my commute at March 8. It was Carnival day. Me and a collegue of mine were waiting for the train to Porto. We were sure there was going to be a train to Porto departing at 15:19, no board was showing that information. The announcer annouced that the a train would arrive at platform 2, the one we predicted that our train would depart from. But, that same train which was supposed to arrive at platform 2, landed at platform 5....somehow. Then, a CP clerk, our train driver called out for the people waiting the next train and said that the train that's going to Porto was going to depart from platform 5.
Just how more messy can they be? Even their own employees don't know what's going on? Great, anyone wants to remind what was the theory of chaos about, again?

Damn the sea is so beautifully blue and fiery. It looks like a badly painted picture. Clouds cover up the sky letting only little dots of blue. Gulls are flying over the sea really low. The distant sea looks dark blue, or maybe grey. My eyes can't really tell the difference. The close sea is greyish. But there is a strip of clear baby blue in the middle which makes it look queer.
My eyes are heavy, but I still have work to do.

My commute on March 4th

2011-03-08T19:38:00.001+08:00

The sunlight peeping out of the clouds gives off a weird feeling. It's almost surreal. The light, the coulds that seem to be floating right above the head and the distant see makes look like a picture. Like Narnja.
I'm getting a lot of this ilusion feeling today. It's sunny, but it's cold and windy. I'm quite upset since I'm more than half an hour late, because the national railway service decided to go on strike. Yeah, I'm the one wants to strike... those unhappy people for making me lose half an hour in my precious life. People like you have so much. Not money, or you wouldn't strike, but everything else that actually matters. Well, that said, I'm glad it didn't take any more of my precious time.
Suddenly, clouds covered up the sky making it look rather gloomy. Maybe in a few minutes thunder will come and open up a breach between reality and fantasy and carry us all to Narnja, or some other world. Just kidding, but looking at the sea right now, and the small boat in the middle of all that water, really gives the illusion that it may actually happen.
I don't know why, but I'm quite into Narnja stuff today. Maybe it's the air around me, or maybe it's just my headache getting to me. Haha.

Wait, I was just kidding when I said that there would be a storm in a few minutes...No! Don't rain! Don't make it happen! I didn't bring an umbrella with me!
Usually, when it's getting dark outside due to some ugly grey clouds, everything starts to lose its color and become somewhat grey. But the world I see right now, outside the train window, is brown. When I look at nature, I don't really care if it looks grey, because usually, after the grey from a storm, what is green becomes more green, and all the other colors are also brighter. But, when something is brown, it stays brown. I don't like brown, it looks like dead.
Wow, really? This can be the most amazing thing I've experienced when I commute. I think. The sun is coming out, bright and shining! Kick-ass! Awesome. I hope you hang in there, because I still have one hour to go until I get home and pick an umbrella to go out again. =)

Cat Street

2011-02-19T23:36:00.003+08:00

CAT STREET, there was a J-drama with this name. It was cool, but the manga is just my favourite.
When I'm just so unmotivated to study, I try to read it over and over again, and somehow, i manage to find a bit of resolve.

[The story centers around Keito Aoyama, a former famous child actress. Due to a childhood incident, she retired from her career early and withdrew from normal society. Now 16, she passes her days in boredom and without purpose. But one day she runs into a stranger who takes her to El Liston--a free school for high school students like herself, who don't have a place where they belong. Though hesitant at first, Keito decides to enter El Liston and subsequently, she begins a new stage in her life. With the help of her only remaining childhood friend, Taiyou, and her new classmates Rei, Momiji, and Kouichi, Keito slowly finds the courage to open up to others and to accept their support. ]

Thus is the summary that's found on MangaFox. The 'former child actress' kinda caught my attention, since I once wanted to be an actress. The theme about outcasts of society is really beaten, but I like this one story.
It reminds me that oportunities don't just pop out of nowhere, we create them. Making dreams come true is not waiting. It's about working towards the goals and opening doors. Being that brave is something I have yet to learn.

Living

2011-02-14T00:02:00.004+08:00

This morning, when I woke up, I had a panic attack. I wasn't a severe one, but it made me think what kind of person I am. So, what was all that about.
My mom has this health condition called metastatic brain cancer. Her body functions and getting worse and worse by each day it passes. Sometimes, I get the feeling that she is better, but then again, her symptoms get worse. She's got no strenght in the body and dementia is settling in. Today, I woke up and my dad said: Your mom had insomnia again, and she threw up the dinner. Also she forgot that she had dinner and she couldn't even think straight. It reminded me how great is it to be alive.
Being alive is the greastest thing ever. Life could suck, but what could I say about those who don't have one? And that, led to my panic attack. When I think about death, I think about, one day, I'll be dead too. I hate to admit it, but I really am a coward afraid of dying. The fear is so unreasonable that everytime I think about it, I have a panic attack. If this gets out of control too, I wonder if I'm going to be sent to a psychiatric hospital...

Peer review: Trial by Twitter : Nature News

2011-02-11T03:20:00.001+08:00

[This critical onslaught was striking — but not exceptional. Papers are increasingly being taken apart in blogs, on Twitter and on other social media within hours rather than years, and in public, rather than at small conferences or in private conversation. In December, for example, many scientists blogged immediate criticisms of another widely publicized paper — this one heralding bacteria that the authors claimed use arsenic rather than phosphorus in their DNA backbone. ]

[To many researchers, such rapid response is all to the good, because it weeds out sloppy work faster. "When some of these things sit around in the scientific literature for a long time, they can do damage: they can influence what people work on, they can influence whole fields," says Goldstein. This was avoided in the case of the longevity-gene paper, he says. One week after its publication, the authors released a statement saying, in part, "We have been made aware that there is a technical error in the lab test used … [and] are now closely re-examining the analysis." Then in November, Science issued an 'Expression of Concern' about the paper, in essence questioning the validity of its results.]

Man, it's getting harder and harder not getting criticized. Peer review is good, but unfunded criticism is getting trendy. I hope this doesn't turn into a habit, because gossip around scientific work is really no good.

Read full article:
Peer review: Trial by Twitter : Nature News

Rampant

2011-01-19T21:02:00.003+08:00

I'm definitely going off the tracks. I was suspecting that for a while. But yesterday, I got my confirmation.
I feel like crap, but I'm aware that I had the chance not to feel so. I'm tired of something I didn't even begin to do.
I don't know when I became so blind and too proud of what I achieved so far. Now, I try to look at myself as a stranger. I see how much of a fool I am. Really, I want to punch me hard, if I could. I don't get why I just refuse to wake up from the dream world I live in. I'm a selfconscious person, and I know that I'm reaching my breaking point. I need help. I can't reach my breaking point, I can't allow myself to do that.
Now, I need to get serious. As if I hadn't said and written and thought this more than a million times. But I do need constant reminding that I'm not the person I used to be, and that I have to straighten up, get myself together.
I'm just amazed at how miserable I can be and not do a thing about it. All wishes and nothing done. I'm starting to ask myself, what kind of person I am and what kind of person I want to be. Better, what I want in my life. That's the hell of a good question that I never answered.

New Year Resolutions

2011-01-03T15:55:00.002+08:00

Somehow, with the new year, I found my resolve back.

I've been kinda lost back there, for a year or two. Now, I guess I found what I was lacking. This time, I am absolutely not going to let myself down.

I'm through of my own excuses. Guess what, I'm going to see how this goes off.

New Year, new deeds. I hope.

Highly improbable events

2010-12-30T00:41:00.002+08:00

Just recently, I gained a whole another level of understanding about highly improbable events.
First of all, highly improbable events do happen. I knew that, but I had the proof.
Second, there are people around who highly improbable things happen way too often. That would be me (?), maybe someone else around me.

I'm not counting having cancer as an improbable event. I did believe that, but not anymore.
Non-small cell Lung cancer: improbable among lung cancer patients.
Surviving more than a year after diagnosis in fase III/IV: improbable. I found out it was never more than 15% of cases, in any country.
Metastases to brain: highly improbable (specially as the first organ to where a lung cancer metastases).
Now, what is the chance of a bunch of improbable events to happen to one same person? I'd say, highly improbable. That one person: my mom.
I'm not happy. But I'm not complaining either. What is there to say. I just feel very...so not useful. I'm starting to wonder if a drug that has a improbably low rate of success would cure her.

Never dull a day (2)

2010-12-24T18:20:00.003+08:00

As I predicted, when my parents and I went to the consultation of IPO to know the results of my mother's magnetic ressonance, the doctor gave us some really bad news. What, he said it was even worse than he expected. He said that brain metastasis was rare and usually the last organ to be affected. But in this case, it was the first metastatic site. Why does my mother's case has to be always in the minority, huh?!
Anyway, yesterday was a bad day. And, so was today. I guess when you don't start well, you don't get any better. Very early in the morning, one of my sim cards went crazy. It is giving me the "Insert sim card" notice in every cellphone I put it in. My! Does my Christmas this year have to be this bad? I mean, I don't think it can get any worse, but I'm sure that life will somehow manage to surprise me.

Never dull a day

2010-12-23T01:43:00.002+08:00

Last Christmas, I was sick, my mom was sick, and my dad was out of town.
This year, everything went well until my mom got sick, again. I really hope this doesn't turn into a habit.
Today, we were supposed to use our car to drive us to the hospital for my mother's appointment. But, very (un)luckily, yesterday, a friend of our came by to check our car, and found out we had a flat tire and had to switch it. Problem: The stands were already closed and the back-up we had was not allowed to run on high-way. GREAT!
Today, we got to hear a horrible turn out for my mothers symptoms recently. The main doctor suspects some cancer cell colonization in the meningis. As far as it concerns me, it is as horrible as it sounds.
Tomorrow, I guess I'll just have to wait up for another wave of bad news. big, great christmas...
Really, never dull a day. I nearly wish these days to be as dull as ever.

Library worm

2010-12-17T19:06:00.003+08:00

I just found out the awesomeness of my local library!!
I love reading novels. And usually, I don't say I read books, I devour them.
I went to do some blood analysis today. And after I finally was allowed to eat my beloved breakfast, I decided it was time for me to stop by my local library. Before going to college, I was a quite frequent user of the library. Even though I was finding it more and more difficult to find books that I would want to read in leisure time, I managed somehow to always find one. After the college thing, that stopped because I barely had time to finish house chores and social meetings.
Last day I went there, was summer holidays 2009. I found 3 new books. All recently published, 2 of them, I wanted to read.
This year, finally, I decided to drop by again. 12 new books. All best sellers and recently published. 4 of them I already read. 2 of them, not interested, and the other 6 are the books I wanted to read since I began college, but never had the chance to find the books. Awesome!
I'm going to have the hell of a fantastic Christmas this year!

busy times coming

2010-12-17T04:51:00.000+08:00

Finally, Christmas. A thousand hurrays for the blessed holidays I'll have.
Even though, usually, I don't recommend my kind of holidays to anybody, given that I'm way busier on holidays than work days.
First day of holidays, what to do: Sleep till late and do house chores. Now, first day over.
Let's proceed to the second day: house chores and house chores.
Great holidays isn't that?
Well, that's only the first days. Wait for more.
Next days: Shopping, house chores, reading and studying. Well, the part of studying is not quite studying as you see, it's not for school. It's more extensive reading on subjects that I like, and of course, also novels.
Good.
Christmas eve and Christmas day is definitely party time. Last year we gathered and made it a white night playing different card games. This year, as far as I'm concerned I'll have a BBQ. And, I'm definitely planning to go ice skating for the first time in my life. I just hope I don't fall too badly. The last time I fell, it was worse than just badly. I'm still feeling the consequences even though it's already been a month and so.
By the end of holidays: finally rid of shopping, but not house chores. Studying (this time,for real) for my examinations.
Now, for real. My parents would nag me all day long about how I should be studying. Damn, as if I don't know that. Good thing is, on holidays I can definitely read whatever I want and pretend to be studying and don't have to worry and get real.

December days

2010-12-02T22:58:00.004+08:00

Second day of December.
It's freezing cold outside... and inside. Thunderstorm one after another. The weather is really awful today. Just to think that yesterday it was sunny, weather sure changes quickly.
Thunder is so loud. The light is flashing. It kind of reminded me of junk horror movie. Oh! Great! It's raining, not front above, but the from the sides! I'm soooo lucky to be at home.
I wonder why is it that it refuses to snow around here, even when it's this damn cold?!
Ha! Irony of ironies, sun is shining now, just peeking through the clouds, but shining. All around the sun are black, no maybe a bit more like grey clouds.
No! Not seagulls gaggling! (Seagulls gaggling-- translation: there will be storm tomorrow.)

Ahhh.... This is lazy me talking. I shouldn't have to be up so early in the morning and out in such a cold day. But little me went to university just to have a small 30-minute quiz. 9 in the morning! Raining and freezing! Cold is all right, but rain is not all right at all! Damn.
And now, at home I still have to go on studying. Stupid me is staring at the same thing for an hour, therefore, lazy me decided to take a break. No good TV, fed up of videogames... can't find a single interesting thing to do. Oh, this is bad, am I depressing? No, I guess not.
Little me, ganbare!

当全世界约好一起下雨，让我们约好一起在心里放晴。

From Yesterday

2010-11-30T02:20:00.000+08:00

What a beautiful sunset I would have seen if that cloud wans't there. But, even if the cloud hides the sun, the view is still soothing.
The calm sea resembles that of a hot summer twilight. Right now, it's cloud winter though. The sky is all clear but for that one big cloud hiding the sun. It's sunset time. Maybe next time I'll get lucky.
Pink and purple are the colours of this winter sky. I'm in the warmth of this train which takes me to a place called home.
Everything just feels so right now, why does it have to change as soon as I arrive home??! Yeah, I've got work to do. Bah. Soon it will be night and cold will kick in. Ah, how much would I give to be already on holidays.
Oh! I got a peek of the setting sun. Damn, it's too bright for my naked eyes. Half orange biscuit in the blue juice called ocean. I wonder if it tasted as good as Oreo in the milk.
Gotta go. Time surely flies.

Mystic Oporto

2010-11-11T02:00:00.005+08:00

Photos I took when I got up in the morning of November 2nd.

I've been really busy. But seeing that right in the morning made feel way better. Maybe I should just look at the pictures every morning.
Don't nag me about photographing skills. I know pretty well that I have none.

"Even foogier than yesterday. I feel like I'm out of this world. High up in the skies. A mystic city in the cloud, Oporto. I like that title. Then again, it's so rare to feel so happy over something so small.
The sun is rising. Rays of sun pierce right through this fog creating all of a paradise of light. After I took the picture, it reminded me of Akatsuki in Tegami Bachi. The city where the artificial sun is. Though, of course, this sun is not artificial, but very real.
Hurray for one more happy day." - Extract from my photo journal.

Rain

2010-10-10T03:30:00.003+08:00

And once again, Fall came. Rainy season has arrived. No matter how hard I try, I just can't get myself out of this depressed mood.
Somehow, the weather really matters to me. I'm already a full fledge crybaby, when on rainy season I can manage to cry even more. Rain makes me feel uneasy, unsecure.
So many times, when I don't know what I should do, I look outside, and I realize it is raining. Should I blame the raining? Maybe. Once in high school, I even came around with a theory that I could only have good score on a physics test if the weather was good.
Once again, a rainy day. Not so bad if I'm idle. But this time, I happen to have too many things to do. I hate this feeling of having endless things to do. What more, in an awful day like this, results in not doing a single thing. Well, actually I've done a lot, but just they are not what I'm supposed to do for the day. I do wonder if I have this medical condition called depression.
Go away rain. You really are making me feel weird.

Working Overtime Could Kill You

2010-08-18T19:37:00.004+08:00

by LiveScience Staff
posted: 11 May 2010 12:43 pm ET

Working overtime can take its toll on more than just sanity. It might be bad for the heart, a new study reveals.

Among 6,014 people followed for about 11 years, those who worked 10 or more hours a day had a 60-percent higher risk of heart-related problems, such as death due to heart disease or a non-fatal heart attack, than those who didn't work overtime.

The results held even after the researchers accounted for other risk factors that might influence heart problems, such as smoking, being overweight, or having high cholesterol.

First

2010-08-01T21:16:00.002+08:00

The day my dad wisely broke his nose was one day of many first times.
First time seen a broken nose, not very good. Would have been a lot better if it was someone else's nose. (Not that I actually I wished it would happen to someone.)
First time staying nearly all day long in a hospital. Not good. Not good at all, since I hate hospitals and clinics and pharmacies.
First time riding an ambulence. Very funny. Luckily, it was not an emergency. Somehow, the ambulence is pretty narrow inside, very unlike what I used to imagine from what is seen on TV. Of course TV is a whole different thing. Somehow, I'm glad that the ambulence I was in with my father, was not in an emergency rescue mission. It surely had first aid kits and a lot of equipment, but I just don't think it has enough to save one's life till he/she arrives the hospital.

Panic

2010-07-29T19:55:00.002+08:00

For the first time in my life I felt shock. Maybe not the first, the second (the very first one, I dare say, not many can remember).
Today, I met panic. Now, that I know what panic is, I hope to never meet it again. My body refused to obey my commands. I felt awful. I felt like throwing up, though I was hungry with potencially nothing in my stomach. I felt like passing out right there, and my eyes refused to see anything at all even though my glycemy level should be just fine and I'm not that much blind. Cold sweat all over me, tough it's summer and I'm supposed to sweat, but not like this.
I felt sick.
And the reason for all those reactions: my father PROBABLY broke his nose. There was just so much blood in his face at first. His face looked so swelled. After a while, it began to color. Not a very good color though, it was purple. Well, the external bleeding stopped, but I'm not very positive about this.
In a way, I'm glad I didn't go for a medicine course.

Doomed

2010-07-14T05:00:00.003+08:00

I finally begin to understand why this society is doomed. Because nobody gives a damn about education. People are brought up to be mediocre, not to be good at what they do. Just mediocre is enough for most of the society. That sucks. Or at least I think it does.
That may be my anger speaking, but I do feel a bit frustrated. Teachers, most of them don't guide their students to find answers on their own, or to look up what they want to know. If a student asks something a bit more complex, I find the usual answer very creative: "That doesn't matter." or "It doesn't exist". Which happens to mean, "I don't want to get worked up and explain it to you." Well, eventually, I can understand that sort of thinking. If every single student asked about something, the teacher would have so much trouble dealing with the questions. But, and there is a big but. Not every student wants to know more. Not every student wants to be excellent. That's what makes the difference. Just how many students geniuses-of-tomorrow were burried underneath those simple answers? Doesn't exist? They do exist, the problem is that no one wants to go through the trouble of saying: "It does exist. But for this level of proficiency, you don't need to know that." It isn't that much of a long sentence compared to the standard answer.
A friend of mine is always mentioning the story about square root of negative numbers. Yeah, I hear that a lot from my teachers too. No, there is no square root for negative numbers. No, there isn't until the last year of high school, when the very same teacher says: Yes, there are imaginary numbers which take part in thee square root of negative numbers. Great. Then what was the bullshit about it didn't exist?! Huh?!
Another very funny one is from my Chemistry teacher. Damn, the answer she gave me really made me laugh. There was a chemical equation for which we had to write down the products of a certain reaction. I wrote down my answer. Then the one teacher gave the class was different. So, I thought I was wrong. But, it bugged me so I asked a chemist about the answer I wrote. Turns out that my answer was actually right. Next day, I sought my chemistry teacher and confronted her with my answer. What did she say? Ha, she said: Your answer is the correct answer, but in this stage of studies you are not supposed to know that, that's why there is another standard answer. What the hell?! That's what I thought, because I just couldn't see any similarities in the standard answer and my own, which turns out to be a correct one.
Another problem this brings would probably be the death of curiosity. Teachers don't encourage students to find out more about certain subjects on their own. The whole system teaches not knowledge, nor method, but standard answers. How many curious students did that kill? I'm not going to say I'm a victim, because I'm not. But that sort of thing really did kill my curiosity for a long while. And I didn't realize until I got it back. This way of teaching sucks! Not as if I can suggest one better, but I'm sure there is someone out there that can.
I suddenly begin to understand why rich people have their personal tutor. That's really sort of useful.

Expectations

2010-06-18T02:34:00.003+08:00

I really really hate when people have too much expectations on me. I really do hate it. Because I hate to disappoint them.
When they have some kind of expectation and I let them down, which happens quite often, I feel bad, real bad. I wonder why. I shouldn't be the one feeling bad here! I shouldn't, but I feel horrible when I let people down, I feel guilty. It makes me mad.
I wonder if I'll ever overcome that feeling of guilt.

Química Orgânica II

2010-06-10T22:17:00.004+08:00

Não é que finalmente percebi como tanta gente não consegue passar a cadeira de Química Orgânica II do 1º ano (FFUP), mas consegue acabar o curso?
Circula por aí que se fores aluno do último ano do curso e no exame escrever 'sou do 5ºano', o prof passa qualquer um, mesmo que não faça nada de jeito?! Isto é que é vida. Eu a andar para aqui a matar-me a estudar e o pessoal do 5º ano a passar sem saber pevas disto. Que bom, se soubesse não tinha estudado e deixava a cadeira para o 5ºano.
É como os outros, agora já não é preciso passar pelo 8ºano. Sim, pois. Mais uns anitos e nascemos com doutoramento feito.

rolling tummy

2010-05-09T19:27:00.006+08:00

And off we go, to somewhere we don't know. Only thing we do know is that our little tummy belly is going to be round full.
That was yesterday. It was raining (awful). I asked my friends to be at the railway station at 11.20, but then, when I was on my way there, I started to worry if I should have set the meeting time a bit earlier in case they were late. Luckily, they were not.
(we set sail in the darkness of the rain out to malaposta)
Well, not sail, but...whatever.
We walked from the station we got off to the supposed restaurant. On the way, we passed by a small bridge and the landscape looked so unreal, specially after the rain. There was also and old abandoned building alongside the road, reminds our party of some typical movie scenario.
The important thing is not all this. But these, our hard work at the restaurant:

Oh yes, completely wiped out. I was just starving when I started, but in the end, my tummy said I was rather full. Oh yes, I felt like my little tummy belly suddenly grew.

That was the hell of a feast. Awesome.

Peace

2010-04-30T03:28:00.002+08:00

Why is it that peace is only brought over dead bodies?
It was necessary for the president of poland to die in an accident, a plane crash, for the frozen relatinoships of Russia and Poland make some development? I'm glad, true. It's good for two countries to have friendly relationships (though not yet determined). Also true that same emotions bring people together, specially sadness, tragedy. But is it really necessary for those tragedies to happen to make people realize things about peace, cooperation and unity? It shouldn't but unfortunately it does.

Far Away From Home - Groove Coverage

2010-04-17T00:48:00.002+08:00

I'm loving living every single day but sometimes I feel so....
I hope to find a little peace of mind and I just want to know.

And who can heal those tiny broken hearts, and what are we to be.
Where is home on the milkyway of stars, I dry my eyes again.

In my dreams I'm not so far away from home
What am I in a world so far away from home
All my life all the time so far away from home
without you I'll be so far away from home

If we could make it thrue the darkest Night we'd have a brither day.
the world I see beyond your pretty eyes, makes me want to stay.

And who can heal those tiny broken hearts, and what are we to be.
Where is home on the milkyway of stars, I dry my eyes again.

In my dreams I'm not so far away from home
What am I in a world so far away from home
All my life all the time so far away from home
without you I'll be so far away from home

I count on you, no matter what they say, cause love can find it's time.
I hope to be a part of you again, baby let us shine.

And who can heal those tiny broken hearts, and what are we to be.
Where is home on the milkyway of stars, I dry my eyes again.

In my dreams I'm not so far away from home
What am I in a world so far away from home
All my life all the time so far away from home
without you I'll be so far away from home

In my dreams I'm not so far away from home
What am I in a world so far away from home
All my life all the time so far away from home
without you I'll be so far away from home

Friends out there

2010-04-11T22:39:00.002+08:00

I wonder if what those people I once knew are doing right now. All those people that were my friends, where are they.
Sometimes I really wonder, what makes a person 'a friend' of mine. When I think about it, I really don't know. When you don't see each other, it seems like you cease being friends. Is it what that word is supposed to mean? From all the friends I made, I only have any news from few of them. From that few, only 3 are far away. Does time and the distance between people erase friendship? It shouldn't, but it does.
Just now, a friend called because someone was hell sick. Will ever a person far away remeber they even have such a friend if he/she wasn't sick? In my mind, something like this would go on:
"Hey, do you know X? That student of ..., that does...?"
"Who? Oh! Yeah! I know, he was a friend of mine."
"Yeah? Oh, well, he's sick."
"Really? Is he ok?" (faked pity of worry, or truly felt worry. I don't know, and I don't care.)
There goes the so supposed friend looking up the phone list.
"Oh, I found the number, let's phone him."
Great. Really great. I don't think that person would have ever remembered his sick friend if he wasn't sick! But gladly, it's not a case which one person remembers another only when the second one is already dead.
People move on. True. But, shouldn't one remember those who helped him/her get to where he is?

无题

2010-04-04T22:15:00.003+08:00

每天都有很多人死亡。为何今天不是你，不是我？
如果下一刻死了，生中最大的遗憾是什么？（这个问题是谁问的？那个该死的问的？我不记得了。）如果遗憾太多，那个最遗憾？
曾经在无数人口中听到各种各样的答案。但是，每次问自己，答案都是个空白。
遗憾？我没有，一个都没有。（也许，只是也许会有一点想多一点时间去报复那些没来得及报复的人。这是我复仇天使的本性。不过，错过了这个机会我也无所谓。）也许，我自己也不知道，早几年听到这个问题会给处一个甚至很多答案。那个从没认识过世界，从没感激过世界的自己。
时间飞过。每天都是新的一天。每天都是重生。早晨醒来，总不知道到底会发生些什么，很期待。虽然我也会抱怨，也会不希望明天来得那么快，但是我会感激活着的每一天。每天都是感恩节。多一天就是都无数次机会，无数次幸福的机会。有这么一天，很不幸福，如果再有一天，一定要把幸福翻倍的补偿回来。
虽然时间不断流动，但是自己还是自己。人会变，但是不会变成别人。或许，更是不该变成别人。如果，回到过去，能再一次作出选择，我相信，我的选择会是一样的。因为我是我，在同样的情况下，拥有着同样的知识，我会作出同样的选择。（当然，这部包括偶然事件。）所以，我不会后悔，从不后悔自己作出的任何选择。（既然再有一次机会也一样，为什么后悔？）
如果下一刻就死，有遗憾吗？（有！没写完这篇文！）还是没有。

2009年经典到变态的语录(选)

2010-03-21T06:46:00.000+08:00

送你一笑

看到成都把公交遇难人员定为凶手，上海方面非常羡慕，他们多么想说，那幢楼是被那个遇难工人推倒的。

广播体操现在开始：╔囧╗╔囧╝╚囧╝╚囧╗╔囧╗╔囧╝╚囧╝╚囧╗╔囧╗╔囧╝╚囧╝╚囧╗╔囧╗╔囧╝╚囧╝╚囧╗╔囧╗╔囧╝╚囧╝╚囧╗╔囧╗╔囧╝╚囧╝╚囧╗╔囧╗╔囧╝╚囧╝╚囧╗

电话费透支90万的判无期，撞死人的判3年；自动取款机恶意取款17万判无期，贪污几千万判10年。——精彩中国。电话费透支90万的判无期，撞死人的判3年；自动取款机恶意取款17万判无期，贪污几千万判10年。——精彩中国。

到一寺庙，一得道高僧讲：施主捐些款吧，三百五百的都行。回答说：实在没带这么多钱，下次吧。高僧回答：可以刷卡。

骗子太多，傻子明显不够用了

寂寞就是有人说话时，没人在听；有人在听时，你却没话说了!

地铁上的广告：挤吗？买辆车吧！出租车上的广告：堵吗？坐地铁吧！（我觉得到着说更逻辑点）

史上最神秘的部门：有关部门；史上最神秘的人：知情人士；史上最权威的人：砖家叫兽。

my crisis of existence

2010-03-20T04:07:00.000+08:00

In a big city, there are so many people. Even though it may be so crowded that you could touvh the total stranger next to you, yet you are still alone. Why?
Maybe it's because you didn't work to know those people. True. There may be more people than one needs to meet and know, but what in life is exactly what is needed? And how many unneeded things were done?
Sometimes, I sit and think about what all those people are doing. So many of them working hard (maybe not in this slow and lazy country called Portugal) and striving to achieve their goals.

Coincidence

2010-02-21T20:43:00.002+08:00

Portugal really is a strangely small country.
There goes little me hurrying to the train station because I needed so much to catch this train, but I left my house a bit late due to some addiction to Anime (=Soul Eater on MTV Portugal). Then, again, arriving at the train station, little me goes as fast as she can, and when she saw that the train she was supposed to catch didn't leave yet, she took some quick steps and... hop. There I go. Success. I got on the train.
I finally calm myself down and look around. What do I see? The winner of 2009 edition Portuguese singing competition "Ídolos" right in front of me. «Oh, my. My eyes are worse than I thought they'd be.» That's what I thought. (Just to be clear, I'm incredibly near-sighted.) Then, I look at the person who was beside that winner... «Oh, my. It's definetely my eyes problems. That guy is my primary school. But, of course he wouldn't recognize me. I cut my hair, even those who knew me from high school nearly didn't recognize me.»
And then, right when I was to think, «Oh, never mind, I'll ust read a bit.» A guy went to the winner (Filipe something, I don't remember) and sheked his hand and all. Stupid me is so slow that thought «Oh, how good to find a friend on such a crowded train.» Then, a minute later, «Hey, wait a minute, that guy wasn't his friend... He was the winner's fan! I'm so dumb.» And the second thought happened to be true, because some people around me moved closer to that Filipe and one of the ladies even asked him to speak to her husband which was a great fan of his and asked him an autograph. I thought the situation was hilarious. I wonder if all those world scale famous singers and actors and big names have moments like that. Supposedly normal, but normal at all.

whoosh

2010-02-09T20:13:00.000+08:00

Things do change a lot in a few days.
What was green yesterday, today turned brown.
What was beautiful yesterday, today, does not exist.
Just how much do we belong to this world?

过生日

2010-01-29T22:23:00.000+08:00

“我们去罗石城吧。”亚杰提到。
“这是你第一次提意见。罗石有什么特别吗？”虎鹰很敏捷的问道。
“我只是过几天在那里有事。”
到了罗石城，亚杰就和虎鹰分开了。亚杰不知道的是，其实虎鹰一直跟在他后面。看到她坐在一棵树边，说着什么。
当晚，押解在遇到虎鹰的时候，发现她有所变化，露出了一个淘气的笑容。
“怎么样，想念我们了吧？”
“你们想干什么呀？”亚杰有点警惕。
“哥，走啦！”燕子拉着亚杰就往城外跑去。一直跑到一块荒地。
“祝你生日快乐……”燕子和虎鹰笑嘻嘻地唱着。
“你们怎么知道？”亚杰一脸惊讶。
“傻！傻瓜！什么在罗石有事。明明就是自己的生日，想回家乡。”虎鹰笑道。
“虎鹰姐叫我乖一点，不要惹麻烦，一早晨都跟在你后面。”燕子说。
“我读了你的唇语。一想到你对那棵树讲话我就想笑。”虎鹰解释道。
“从小我就经常来这里。这棵树也是从前唯一留到现在的。罗石早就不是以前的罗石了。”亚杰回忆起。
“对不起。不过，你也不用那么恋旧嘛！”
亚杰笑了。带着一点讽刺的笑，但是很帅，很真。
“是啊！现在有你们两个丫头缠着，哪有时间恋旧！不过，还是这样好。”
“如果你早点告诉我们今天是你的生日的话，我们就可以准备给你的礼物啦。”
“所以呢，因为时间不够，我们就把今晚夜空的星星送给你。你看如何？”
亚杰这才抬起头。藏蓝的天空中，反省闪闪，想在对他点头，对他微笑。
虽然夜晚很冷，但是他却感到一股暖风迎面吹来。
亚杰的人身的这一章节终于将要告一个段落。但是翻过这章的最后一页，还很难。

蚂蚁

2010-01-28T23:26:00.000+08:00

一排蚂蚁一起出行，很像虎鹰姐，亚杰哥和我。慢慢地，齐齐地向前爬。头上的蚂蚁东张西望的，像是在探路。尾头的蚂蚁经常回头，像是在断尾。哥经常这样。他说，得经常注意背后，看看有没有人跟踪或偷袭。
我非常好奇，所以拿着一根小树枝袭击队尾的那只蚂蚁。我已碰到它，它就像屁股着火似的，没头没脑的乱窜。其它蚂蚁也纷纷跑开了。我很兴奋地告诉姐姐，原来蚂蚁中的最后一只也是用来断尾的。
“这也不一定，有些蚂蚁会自顾自的逃亡。你有没有注意过，一般搬着东西的蚂蚁就算逃不快也不会放下他所搬的？”
“没有哦。”我倒是从来没注意过箫汕村的蚂蚁是怎么样的。
啊！蚂蚁开始打斗了！这可是我第一次见到。一开始只是互相碰一碰，像姐教我一样，要先试探对方，衡量一下敌人到底有多强。咦？怎么不打了？
“这是僵局。谁先出手谁赢的机会就少一点。”我想，姐一定会通心术!我心里问什么她就答什么。
一会儿，左边的那只开始攻击了。它们用头撞来撞去，好像在比哪只头更硬似的。打斗的节奏很快。不久，右边的蚂蚁被撞出几厘米的距离，好像一条小腿都被摔断了。不过他好像很不服输又往对方那边撞去。它们似乎都互不相让。真不知道它们为了什么那么拼。蚂蚁毕竟小，打斗的时间也没人长。很快就分出胜负了。左边的那只蚂蚁慢慢地，一瘸一瘸地离开了。右边那只，拖着那条被摔断的腿，爬到一块面包屑边，抬起它后，也慢慢地离开了。
只为一块面包屑啊！
“如果燕子是那块面包屑的话，我一定会比它更拼命。”亚杰哥不知何时也来看蚂蚁了。
“如果燕子是那块面包屑，我一定会不付代价把对方打残。”姐笑道。
“我都快可怜想袭击我的人了。”虽然嘴上这么讲，但是心里很高兴。没有了爸妈，但是还有那么疼我的哥哥姐姐。

秋雁

2010-01-28T06:55:00.000+08:00

秋日临到，一群大雁从上空飞过。
“姐，好多雁子！”燕子兴奋地指着天空。
群雁南飞是再普通不过的现象。毕竟，秋天已经开始逼近。
清晨，我带着燕子和亚杰牵着马，慢慢走在乡间小道上。大雁时不时地成群飞过。虽然平凡，但是总是那么整齐，那么壮观。大雁又飞了，我们又上路了。成群成对的雁排出的各种群形也是空中一景。有伙伴在一起多幸福，就算要飞多久多远都不会感到孤独。
一转眼，又是一群大雁叫着从头上飞过，使我想起过去。一样的时间，同一个地方也是这么看着一群群的大雁。自然的美在于同一季会有同样的现象出现，就像年年南飞的大雁。自然之妙在于同一个现象却每次都有所不同。
一年前，站在这里看着时而成“一”时而成“人”，心里的两种感觉分别是无聊和羡慕。无聊，因为无趣的大雁年年成群飞翔，它们只能飞，只能逃避。羡慕，因为每次起程它们都有那么多的同胞一起吃苦享甜，使自己感到很孤单。
一年后的今天，同样站在这里看一群过路的雁。群形如往，有些单调，但是还带着那点壮观。妙在看着得我不再感到无聊或羡慕。有朋友在身边，无聊也能有趣，所羡慕的也能拥有。
乡间路上，三人一队的陆雁慢慢的欣赏者秋雁带来的感受。百年不变的美和次次有新的妙。

礼物

2010-01-28T02:57:00.001+08:00

“亚杰，跟我们一个月了。辛苦吧？该给你点奖金，也算对得起你对燕子的教导。”虎鹰提起。
“虎鹰，真谢谢你，但是，不用了。这个月，经过了不少地方，吃得住的都是最好的，这点就够了。你一定也不容易。”
“你……太善良了吧。”虎鹰笑道。
“我？我这种善良是一路杀出来的，你懂吗？”亚杰强调了。
“唔。”虎鹰陷入沉思。
独自走在街上，虎鹰想着：真没想到亚杰会那么坦白地告诉我她闯世界的经验。那么既然他很能打，应改买个什么样的礼物送给他呢？什么样的东西才能表达出我的感激和关心呢？
两天后，虎鹰把
一个简陋的盒子递给了亚杰
“模样不怎么样，而且也不算值钱。再说，我觉得如果是珠宝类的你一定会拒绝。我觉得它最能表达我的用意。”
亚杰打开盒子，拿出一颗打了洞穿在一根钢链上的牙。亚杰有点惊讶地看着虎鹰，问：“这是怎么来的？是虎牙吧。”
“对啊！听说猛兽的牙可以当护身符，所以，我就去找了一颗虎牙。”虎鹰笑道。
“谢谢。”亚杰低头仔细看着那个护身符。链子上刻着“亚杰”两字和一只燕子。亚杰突然感到一种温暖和幸福。
亚杰抬起头看着眼前这个深不可测的女孩，产生了强大的好奇感：“你去猎来的？”他指了指虎牙。
“没有啦。那么难猎到虎。我只不过占人家便宜，刚死的虎，牙就被我偷了。”
两人一阵狂笑。
“谢谢你的用心。”亚杰给出了一个很真诚的笑容。“这是我收到的最珍贵的礼物。”
“一件礼物能换回你多一点的真诚，我又占便宜了。”说完，虎鹰就哈哈大笑。亚杰也跟着一块儿笑。
夜空中回荡着他们的笑声。从此以后，这个者正的无价之宝就一直带在亚杰身上。日后多次，亚杰因虎鹰送的护身符而得救，甚至从虎鹰的刀下得救。

Mark Mills

2010-01-28T02:55:00.001+08:00

Pensamos todos que sabemos a resposta,
e estamos todos enganados.
Nem tenho a certeza se saberemos qual é a pergunta.

浪

2010-01-28T02:53:00.001+08:00

虽说入春，
浪涛依旧、
涛势汹涌，
无比震撼。

雨

2010-01-28T02:51:00.001+08:00

雨后总有太阳，
幸运会有彩虹。
美丽无不努力，
幸好身边有你。

我的未来不是梦-张雨生（歌词欣赏）

2010-01-20T07:02:00.002+08:00

你是不是像我在太阳下低头

流着汗水默默辛苦的工作

你是不是像我就算受了冷漠

也不放弃自己想要的生活

你是不是像我整天忙着追求

追求一种意想不到的温柔

你是不是像我曾经茫然失措

一次一次徘徊在十字街头

因为我不在乎别人怎么说

我从来没有忘记我

对自己的承诺对爱的执著

我知道我的未来不是梦

我认真的过每一分钟

我的未来不是梦

我的心跟着希望在动

我的未来不是梦

我认真的过每一分钟

我的未来不是梦

我的心跟着希望在动

跟着希望在动

你是不是像我整天忙着追求

追求一种意想不到的温柔

你是不是像我曾经茫然失措

一次一次徘徊在十字街头

因为我不在乎别人怎么说

我从来没有忘记我

对自己的承诺对爱的执著

我知道我的未来不是梦

我认真的过每一分钟

我的未来不是梦

我的心跟着希望在动

我的未来不是梦

我认真的过每一分钟

我的未来不是梦

我的心跟着希望在动

跟着希望在动

Premonition

2010-01-20T01:09:00.002+08:00

My mother does not consume drugs, does not smoke, does not drink, has a healthy diet. Every thing normal, but she has lung carcinoma.
Why do I have the feeling that I'm rather an ominous person??? This year I started my course on Pharmacology... I'm actually starting to scratch the cancer subject and my mother becomes a live example. What are the odds? If god exists, is he against me? Unbelievable.
And to think that it is not the first time something this ominous happens...

Viruses May Play A Role In Lung Cancer Development

2010-01-17T23:15:00.003+08:00

ScienceDaily (2008-04-25) -- New research highlights emerging evidence that common viruses may contribute to the development of lung cancer. Experts agree that smoking is by far the most important factor that contributes to lung cancer development. But other factors can play a role in some cases.

Experts agree that smoking is by far the most important factor that contributes to lung cancer development. But other factors can play a role in some cases.
In one report at the conference Dr.Arash Rezazadeh and colleagues from the University of Louisville, Kentucky, USA, describe the results of a study on 23 lung cancer samples from patients in Kentucky.
The researchers found six samples that tested positive for the presence of human papilloma virus (HPV), the virus that also causes many cases of cervical cancer. One was later shown to be a cervical cancer that had spread to the lungs.
Of the remaining 5 virus-positive samples, two were HPV type 16, two were HPV type 11 and one was HPV type 22. "The fact that five out of 22 non-small-cell lung cancer samples were HPV-positive supports the assumption that HPV contributes to the development of non-small-cell lung cancer," the authors say.
All the patients in this study were also smokers, Dr. Rezazadeh notes. "We think HPV has a role as a co-carcinogen which increases the risk of cancer in a smoking population," he says.

In another paper, Israeli researchers suggest that measles virus may also be a factor in some lung cancers. Their study included 65 patients with non-small-cell lung cancer, of whom more than half had evidence of measles virus in tissue samples taken from their cancer.
"Measles virus is a ubiquitous human virus that may be involved in the pathogenesis of lung cancer," says lead author Prof. Samuel Ariad from Soroka Medical Center in Beer Sheva, Israel. "Most likely, it acts in modifying the effect of other carcinogens and not as a causative factor by itself."

little me

2010-01-03T19:21:00.002+08:00

There goes little me to the university.
The timetable comes out and little me has 24 hours of classes per week. Hurray!!! There goes little me thinking that university might be fun. The semester ended and Christmas break came. Then, little me began to realize that 24 hours of classes per week is nothing at all compared to the time it takes to know all the things professors taught. Little me is little already, but yet, little me shrank. Yes. Examinations are not that easy to deal with. And christmas, which was supposed to be holidays, was spent worrying about the next examination which happens to be tomorrow.
Little me, sad me is really stressed. Guess what, it's time to get out of this illusion and begin to work hard. Once in a while hard working might not be bad, actually.

wings

2009-11-29T22:28:00.003+08:00

I want to fly.
Open my wings and take off.
I want to see the sky.
I want to see the land from above.

It's so wonderful to have wings.
But, what happens if you have wings but you don't know?
Everyone has a pair of wings waiting to be opened.
The problem is, when you open your wings for the first time,
Will you fly?
Or will you fall?

small things

2009-11-28T06:48:00.000+08:00

When I calm down and look around. Skies, why are people’s faces so boring? I wonder what they are thinking. It’s certainly not the first time, but each time, I feel more grateful than the one before. Life really is a miracle, a wonder. How curious the one wonder that is the most qualified for the Seven Wonders of the World isn’t included in it.
True that people use to feel unsatisfied. But that should be only to a certain degree, because there is always the satisfaction of being right here, right now. Who was it that said so? Oh, yes it was Avril Lavigne’s song. “I think about the little things that make life great.” How true is that? One should know in the heart. The little things that happen, that most of times we don’t take notice. Sometimes, that’s what makes life so different for each of you, each of us. It’s a wonder how small things can change our fate, our life so much. All those coincidences, all those small gestures, and those sentences that people say without even thinking about them, all of them are the part of life I’m most grateful about. Sure it’s not the thanksgiving day, but still, I want to thank all those people I met. Even those I hate, because those are the people that teach me the most, and if not, at least they taught me what is hate.

Hoshii wo nerae

2009-11-28T06:47:00.000+08:00

When I look back, I wonder what I have accomplished. But, if I’m here, it may be not a coincidence. When I look around, I wonder what people are doing. But, if they are out there, they must have done so far to be present.
I used to look at people’s faces and think: another stranger passed by. But, time goes on and things do change. All the faces have written on them, a story that maybe it’s never been told before.
They are fighting. They are all fighting. No matter where I turn to, it’s the same. I see people fighting on and struggling for what they want. It makes me wonder what I have done so far. It’s not easy to live. I don’t think it’s a lie. Hey, pals, you are all working so hard. You keep running. I wonder if I can keep on. Changes sometimes come too fast, but as long as I am alive, I should fit myself in. I should, but, I don’t. When everything has always been in your reach, I wonder what happens if one day, that very person can’t reach anything anymore.
Looking from afar, I wonder what are all these people struggling for. What keeps us, you, them… going on living and fighting? There is a meaning to life isn’t there. There is a wish in everyone’s heart and mind, isn’t there?
I wonder what is mine. I really do. Meanwhile, I don’t want to lose to anyone.
That’s why,
Aim higher,
Aim for the sky,
Aim for the stars.
Let me keep looking forward and never ever give up. When I find what I truly want, I’ll decide where to shoot. For now, let the work begin.

Rain II

2009-11-21T08:02:00.005+08:00

Flash across my window.
I get up.
I open my window,
wind comes in blowing.
A smell,
a smell of rain.
I look up, at the sky.
It's grey, nearly black.
I feel uneasy.
What is this feeling?
Did I do anything wrong?
Did I forget something?
Am I waiting for something to come?
A ray of sunlight escapes from the clouds.
Somehow, I can breathe more easily.
I look around.
Even though there is sunlight, there seems to be no life.
A drop.
Another drop.
It's raining now.
More and more.
Somehow, the drops sound like music.
the music seems to be a happy one.
Why?
How can it be happy in such a dead day?
What gives? Why should anyone answer me?
...
It felt like an eternity went by.
I felt desperate, but rain washed it away.
I felt uneasy, btu rain took it away.
When the rain stopped,
I saw the sky, the true sky.
It was blue, and it was high.
I saw the grass, the strength in it.
It was green, and it was alive.
I felt relief,
I felt hopeful.
As if awaken from a long dream,
as if waking up for the first time,
as if being born in a new world,
as if I've never been there before,
I closed my window
and set for my journey.
Determined, hopeful and happy.

Rain

2009-11-21T07:56:00.002+08:00

Green,
the most beautiful green is after the rain.
What the rain washes away,
I don't know.
I only know that,
after the rain,
the world is reborn.
Fresh air, wind.
Wet air, sea.
Blue,
the most bright blue is after the rain.
What rain brings,
I don't know.
I only know that,
after the rain,
the world wakes.
white clouds, blue sky.
grey waves, dark sea.

Isto, só nos filmes

2009-10-28T07:14:00.003+08:00

O que acontece a uma pessoa que vai passar férias ao Algarve?? Supostamente...relaxa.
Mas não. O que acontece é que o computador para além de não quere funcionar, vai ao cúmulo de pegar fogo... Só visto.
Mais, nem uma noite sossegado?! É demais.
Será isto um sonho??? Não pode ser.
A polícia bate à porta. Truztruz. Porque será?
"Pode fazer o favor de me acompanha?"
Mas o que vem a ser isto? Acontece que... os doidos dos americanos viram filmes a mais e andaram a traficar droga no hotel. E quê??? Foram estúpidos, idiotas ao ponto de serem apanhados. Mais uma noite me branco. E para mais, na esquadra...
Isto, só em filmes... ou talvez não. Sonhos também devem servir, mas na vida real. Poupa-me tenho mais que fazer.
Mas, acontece.

人呢？

2009-10-26T02:11:00.003+08:00

当我需要你时，
你为何不在？
平凡日子里，
你无处不在，
可是为什么，
当我四处寻找你时，
你却无影无踪。
平时转头就见的微笑，
为何真正需要时，
却无法找到？
朋友，
是什么？
真心，
是什么？
当我需要你时，
你藏在何处？
我，
不再认识你，
因为你，
从来不在。

Race

2009-09-04T04:06:00.002+08:00

Every morning, a gazelle wakes up.
It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed.
Every morning, a lion wakes up.
It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death.
It doesn't matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle,
When the sun rises, you'd better start running.

Tomorrow, let's have a race. If I don't win, next time, in the next life, let's have a rematch. Just you wait, and one day I will win.

雾中的老师

2009-09-03T00:21:00.000+08:00

又是一个平常的日子。燕子和虎鹰在县城上的旅店已经住了两周了。在那些日子里，虎鹰常常一个人出去工作，而燕子就在街上闲逛。如往常，燕子又在街上看店铺，想着：在虎姐姐身边能学到不少新东西。与此同时，虎鹰在县城边缘打发一些流氓，想着：得给燕子找个老师。
夜悄悄地走来，一层厚厚的雾也同时降临。燕子正看着这大雾，心里想着自己是否还能找到回旅店的路。不只是巧合还是缘，一群流氓相的少年挡在燕子的路上。
“小朋友，迷路了？要哥哥带你回家吗？”少年轻蔑的对着她笑了笑。
感到危机的燕子马上想到前几天贵族先生送给她的匕首，便把他拿了出来对准前方的少年。那把匕首没有贵族先生的那一把那么华丽，但是上面的五颗红宝石跟燕子的肤色很配。少年看到那匕首，顿时惊讶得瞪大了眼睛。这时，不知何时何处冒出来的一个陌生人说道：“后辈请留步。”陌生人挡在燕子和少年中间。燕子看着那个背影似乎有了点安全感，放下了匕首。
“你们不但以多欺少，还欺负那么小的女孩，亏你们做得出。”
少年不服气，从同伴那儿抽出一把刀就像陌生人刺去。燕子受惊，往后退了几步。在雾中，她只看到几个人混战一番。她知道，若不是陌生人相助，自己很难活过那一关。
“燕子！”一声焦急的叫喊传到燕子的耳边。
这时，那个陌生人对燕子说：“不是所有事情都可以用武力解决的。再说，看得出来你是第一次拿武器……”还没说完，虎鹰就跑到了。
“燕子，你没事吧？”
“你怎么能天暗了还让一个小孩单独出来？”
“啊！谢谢叔叔！”燕子对着人影喊道。
“叔叔？应该是哥哥吧。”
雾有点散开了，那位哥哥也走近了点。一个眉清目秀的帅哥出现在眼前。一眼看出帅哥出众的武力和帮助人的热情，虎鹰请求他做燕子的老师，而他一口答应了。
“雾中缘，师生情呀！”帅哥叹道，“我是亚杰。”
“我是虎鹰，这是燕子。请多多指点。”

unpleasant car tour

2009-09-02T21:39:00.004+08:00

There was this composition title that reminded me of something rather unpleasant.
The composition title was 'an unpleasant trip by car, ship or plane'. As a matter of fact, I did have one, recently.
Once, I was on a car to go to Wutai mountains with my family. On the road, we faced fog and heavy rain. Also, We saw several car accidents. Not one, several. I mean it was like...three...five...six. About six of them. Not quite a nice day to begin with.
Not long after that, I went to the tomb of my grandparents.
Death, is the word that comes most into my mind right now. I can't imagine how I didn't realize it before. I can't describe the feeling of watching so many things related to death in so short period of time. No, not horror movies. Those are not death related things, they are only pieces of art. But that trip was for real. Actually, on the road to the tomb, there was heavy rain. Even heavier than the time when we went to the mountains. The water was poured from the sky, and I mean it. I couldn't see anything from the car window, just running water. I was horrible. When the rain finally stopped, another series of car accidents were there waiting for me to see.
I felt like there was a theatre of death, but the play was one in which one would actually die.
Chilling...and creepy.

认错

2009-09-02T21:37:00.000+08:00

自从虎鹰把燕子接出箫汕村后，她们就不停地奔波。箫汕村外方圆一千里都是类似的小村庄。来来往往的人，除了一些送信件的，很少见到。也正是因为如此，所以带着燕子的虎鹰才选择不停的赶路，一直到了一个比较热闹的县城。
“虎姐姐，这里的人好多，东西也好多！”
看着兴高采烈的燕子，虎鹰微微一笑。她们来到一个旅店住下。在路上的日子里，燕子没吃什么好的，休息的也不多，一道客房就一头栽下，呼呼大睡。虎鹰见状就叫侍人准备一桌美食让燕子醒来后品尝。安排好一切后，虎鹰拿着一袋包子出去散步了。
燕子一觉醒来发现眼前有一桌天鲜美食，大包一顿后，推开客房的门，大胆的上街游玩。在旅店附近，她发现了一位富贵人士，身上带着一把华丽的匕首。宝石和金线闪闪发光，牵住了燕子的眼神。不知不觉，燕子偷偷摸摸得跟着他来到了一个非常拥挤的地方。突然，一个念头晃过燕子的脑子。于是，她慢慢的靠近那位先生，磨到匕首后在远离了一步。就在她的脸被一个陌生人挡住的时候，她把匕首拿了下来。接着，就是一阵狂奔。
到了旅店，她把匕首藏在衣服里进了客房。客房里，虎鹰正躺着等她。
“没想到小燕子胆子真大，”听到这句话，燕子吓了一大跳，以为虎鹰知道了她干的事。但是，话的下部分使她送了口气。“刚来一个陌生地方就敢乱窜。”
不过，燕子轻松的时间也不长。当她刚走一步时，虎鹰就皱起眉头看着这个自己新领的小妹妹，说道：“燕子，你出去干什么了？把衣服里的匕首拿出来。”燕子想：哇！虎姐姐好英明，于是，乖乖地把匕首交了出来。看到装饰如此绚华的匕首，虎鹰的眉头又紧了紧。他耐心的对燕子说：“燕子，这是贵族匕首。你是偷来的吧。”燕子点了点头，不敢和那位酷姐姐对视。“以后，不管是什么，只要是别人的就不能随便拿，知道了吗？”虎鹰叮嘱道。燕子又点了点头。
没费多长时间，姐妹俩在一家饭店找到了匕首的主人。
“叔叔，我看着匕首好看就拿了。对不起，我错了。”燕子正视着那个贵族道了歉。
“好孩子，连道歉都能正视对方。下次见面，送你一把匕首。”
贵族对虎鹰笑了一笑：“后会有期。”
虎鹰回笑，在点了点头。

千纸鹤

2009-08-31T18:05:00.005+08:00

夜深了，

在灯光下叠着纸鹤。

千纸鹤，

送一份温暖，

送一份幸福。

纸鹤吊在窗前，

微风吹过，

连连飘起。

千纸鹤，

送一份关怀，

送一份祝福。

风吹过，

湖面起了浪。

平静是短暂的，

浪涛才平凡。

千纸鹤，

飞吧，

把故事带到远方。

月

2009-08-30T18:22:00.002+08:00

天空日日不同，夜夜也不同。
前夜望暗月，昨夜望明月。
望明月，思远方。
此时此刻谁望月，
千里之外通月连。

一种孤单，
一种平静，
一种幸福。

明亮的月光静静地溜进窗户，
给人一种思念的感觉。

一件小事

2009-08-29T20:03:00.001+08:00

“虎姐姐，有空时一定要来我们家做客欧！”一个可爱的声音又在脑子里响起。这是很久以前的事。
三年前，虎鹰在箫汕村里认识了一家农民。他们那种朴素的生活让她非常羡慕。一天复一天，只愁下一次的丰收能维持多久。那又像她那样的思想斗争，获得像玩家的木偶?偶然的机会把它带到了那个村子躲避自己的追踪者。在村里的那几天，他时不时得帮农民在田里干一点力所能及的事。傍晚时分，他常常坐在桌旁讲村外的故事。五天后，当他要离开村子的时候，农民家的孩子：燕子对他这么说的。
事后，虎鹰有无数次经过箫汕村，但是没有一次进村里到燕子家逗留过。此时，他又站在土路上的交叉口。这一次，他选择了去箫汕村的路。
“是虎鹰！”村口的一位农民叫道。“唉呦！虎姑娘，你可真来啦！”
“这位叔叔，燕子在吗？”虎鹰有礼貌的问道。
“咦，怎么在村长家？”
“虎姑娘，两年前村里的水被什么东西感染了。村民们一个个都倒下了，害死了不少。后来，好不容易凑了钱请了医生。没生病的就没再染上，但是生了病的只有刚生不久的得救了。为一燕子挺的时间这么长，也好了。”
“呒，我知道了。谢谢叔叔。”
说完，虎鹰飞奔到村长家。燕子一看到就又跑又跳地迎接：“虎姐姐！你来了！”虎鹰微笑着坐下来，追问起两年前燕子病倒的事。没想到燕子天真灿烂的笑着回答：“因为我叫姐姐有空就来，但是姐姐一直没来，所以我一定要等到姐姐来呀！”
“这孩子，特别喜欢你。经常说虎姐姐怎么怎么，虎姐姐说了什么什么。”村长叹了口气。“这也算是被他盼到了。”
原来简单一句话也有那么大的力量。记着他的燕子竟然能因此而战胜病魔。

夜空

2009-08-29T15:45:00.003+08:00

夜深了。
独自坐在湖边，望着湖边的水。
一轮孤月亮挂在空中。
不是明亮的月，不是皎洁的月。昏暗的黄色带着没落的感觉。
在湖边的我似乎在夜空中看到了自己。
那轮孤月独挂空中，一样孤单。
那轮暗月荡在空中，一样无色。
湖面倒映着月亮和自己，一幅假如画的景色出现在我面前。
希望有一天，这幅画的月是皎皎明月，画中的人是个明亮的成功者。

Memento Mori

2009-08-25T00:04:00.003+08:00

«My dearest Syla,
It's been a while since I last wrote you. I wonder if you are still doing well writing your stories and making guesses. I'm finding my cases more and more difficult. I think it will be soon the day I'll need your impossible stories to solve my cases. Recently I'm trying yo solve a case involving a head of state.It seems like he was bribed to allow the construction of a tax-free transport centre where a natural park is. It's so complicated, the things you have to do and the papers to be submitted just because the charged one is an important politician. Can't it just go smoothly like with everyone else?...Whatever.
Maybe you could give me a hand some time.
Drowning under piles of paper,
Kee»
Thus was the 6th mail Keering wrote to Syla since they parted ways.
One month passed without the mail being opened, two months passed without Keering receiving the reply.
«Dear Syla,
I haven't received the reply from the last time, but concerning the Freeport case in Alputorg, Croatess, who was held as a suspect was cleared of those charges. It's quite annoying.... and I was so sure that he's guilty! I guess it can't be helped.
Please say something, even if it's to tell me that I'm a looser.
Kee»
Thus was the 7th mail Keering wrote to Syla, which did not receive a reply nor it arrived at its destination.
One month later, Keering, who didn't receive any notice from Syla, decided to pay her a visit.
When he arrived at the house where Syla used to live, he found it looking like a ghost house. No piece was left unturned in the house and it seemed not to be inhabited for a while for there was dust everywhere. Having no idea of where Syla could be, he took a walk in the forest to clear his thoughts.
"So, 4 months ago, she was okay, for she replied my letter. Then, probably 3 months ago something happened that forced her to leave her house and be unable to receive my letters? What could it be? Something suspicious is going on here..."
"For the exception that the one suspicious here is you and the something that happened didn't happen 3 months ago." Syla spoke walking out of her hiding place.
"Was I thinking aloud? You gave me a fright!" Keering was fairly surprised. "What happened to your house? It's in a real mess."
"Oh, really?" Syla faked surprise. "Why should I tell you?"
"How can you say that out of the blue? Aren't we friends? I may have not written you that often but I'm still thinking about you! Why would I care to come here if I wasn't worried about you?" Keering shouted. "You should just trust your friends!"
"How can you tell me to trust you? Can it be that you don't know you are a public security office inspector yourself?" Syla sounded desperate.
"I am an inspector, but that doesn't mean that I can't be your friend." Keering was trying to understand Syla.
"What if your friend is a wanted criminal and you are responsible for the case? What would you do?" Syla showed signs of tears.
Keering was shocked to see that Syla changed so much. She was not herself anymore, not the strong actress that he met on his way to Tomb village.
"Syla, I don't know what would I do then, but right now, I just want to help you. We'll think about that situation later, okay? Ah! That's right...I brought you the souvenir I bought in Pon. I'm not sure if you like it. It's a small plant that eventually turn into a sakura tree." He took out a small vase with a branch stick out of it and placed it in front of Syla. "Here. If you don't like it you can throw it away, I don't mind."
"I won't, not after you had the trouble of bringing it here. Thanks." Syla tried to smile but failed completely, starting to whimper.
Keering confronted with such a situation didn't know what to say nor what to do, hesitated a bit before stepping forward and hugged her.
"There was that incident which was made worldwide, about the nuclear test of Kilchu. My father.... and he commented that it may have not been nuclear at all, and the governors are trying to make it sound so, as to... and threat Aacreim with it. Then,... and he was charged for leaking national security information. ... death sentence."
Keering didn't hear everything Syla said, but he heard enough to understand what happened. He wiped her tears and tried to comfort her.
"It's hard to accept I know. Meanwhile, I'll stay by your side if you don't mind."
Syla remained silent for a while. Then, she did the unthinkable around a year ago. She clinged on Keering and huged him tightly.
"It's not the death of my father that is unacceptable. I guess, it was quite expected. I'm just afraid that the public security may want me dead as well. I just don't want to die just yet."
"Syla, it's fine. I'll do my best to protect you."
Syla seemed to calm a bit.
"What did you come here for?" she asked.
"What are you talking about? Of course I came to see you, because you didn't reply to me."
"Oh, is that so? What cases are you solving?" Syla seemed to be returning to her normal self bit by bit.
"Nothing worth mentioning." Keering seemed to care more about Syla's condition than his work.
"Then help me this." Syla pulled out a sheet of paper on which was written lots of technical information about the virus HiNi. "This is something I came across before my father was executed." She said 'executed' with so much ease that surprised Keering.
"But it happened a month and a half ago!"
"True. No one said my father was executed 3 months ago. As a matter of fact, it was 34 days ago."
"Then why did you not respond to my letter?"
"My father was being suspected, what would you do if you were me? Boast around that your father is being held suspect?"
"Sorry. So do you think this HiNi is a criminal move?"
"I don't think so. It's hard to use and control biological weapons. But if that was the case..."
"There is a high probability of skilled terrorism going around developed countries." Keering completed Syla's thoughts.
"It started in Coemix and is now all around the world. Is there any country that has not a single case?"
"No, I don't believe there is." Keering was searching his memory for answers. "How rival countries that have not many cases?"
"Maybe. I don't know. You know, I feel there is something else to it. I'm just not getting it."
"Should I take a look at the archives at the public security office to see if there's anything that might help?"
"Never mind it. I'm kinda sick of this."
"Shall we go for a trip? Maybe you should relax a bit more."
Syla agreed. And so, their hourney to Miene began.
It was a sunny day. Syla was happy and so was Keering. They were riding dragon ships.
"Beautiful. The view from here is awesome."
Keering saw for the first time Syla's true smile. Not fake, not mean, not on purpose. He was amazed how he could feel such heavenly happiness just by watching her smile.
"Is Miene a nice country?" Syla put up such an innocent face that made Keering want to kiss her. But he quickly shook off that idea.
"I don't know myself. I've never been there."
Syla wanted to ask something else when the ship rocked a bit. Then, when she could stand steady, the ship rocked again. As if trying to knock the passengers off, the ship began to rise and fall constantly and it even did a round turn.
"Are you alright? Anywhere hurt?" keering asked when he got hold of Syla's arm.
"I'm fine." Syla said, but she was trembling so much that Keering pushed her into his arms.
"Keering?" Syla's voice was tiny.
"It'll be fine." Keering garanteed even though he was rather scared himself.
Right after Keering finished speaking, the ship was torn apart and the dragons supporting the ship flew away. Luckily for Syla, but not for Keering, Syla landed on top of Keering.
"Awwww... It hurt."
As Syla didn't answer, Keering looked at her. Her eyes were tightly closed and her arms were tangled in a self hug.
"Syla, it's fine now. Could you stand please? You are sitting on me."
Syla stood up abruptly. Watching her trembling with fear, Keering hugged her again.
"See? Even tough it was rather dangerous, you managed to live out. Isn't that good?"
"Maybe." Syla sounded even more doubtful than the word 'maybe'.
"It's not maybe. There have been a lot of aircraft crashes. The one from Acerfrn disappeared without any trace."
Syla seemed like she was stroke by something.
"Wait, wait. wait. You said Acefrn?"
"Yeah. You didn't know? It's strange. It was made head news."
"What would happen if there was someone trying to be a God's envoy?"
"What do you mean?"
"I've just remembered the incident about Acefrn's aircraft. Wasn't it from Miene to Acefrn?"
"Not really, but it was something really similar. Why?"
"Look, the aircrafts that crashed all had something to do with Miene and partner countries. And we have this crucial problem called virus, right?"
"I'm following your thoughts, but I don't know what conclusion can you take from that. What is Miene?"
"One of the envoys I was talking about."
"Do you mean there are more?"
"One more. I think. Acefrn."
"Both Miene and Acefrn?"
"You see, Acefrn is a developed country and it has the means to develop defenses against the virus, even if in this case it's not being as quick as ... and .... But, when it turns into a pandemic, people in jails have less means to survive."
"So, they are envoys of justice."
"True. And about Miene. Not knowing that there was a culprit behind the scenes, is forcing aircrafts to crash, because it is the main way which the virus is being spread."
"I see. They are crushing all the ships that may bring virus."
"So Miene is the envoy of God to select people."
"But keep this as story, only between us."
"Fine. It's for your safety after all. Let's have this trip and your story as a memento for your father."
"Hmm!" Syla smiled happily.

Turning back

2009-08-23T22:07:00.003+08:00

When I was on my way to Pudong airport at Shanghai, I realized something that I'll never forget.
In the night, the lights of Shanghai make it look beautiful. True, it cause lots of polution but it looks truely amazing. The bus drives on... Tall buildings and rivers, rivers of cars flow. Somehow, something came to my mind. The me that was leaving China for the first time also went by the same streets, same crosses, but how come I don't recognize any of them?
The thing I realizd then was that in China, specially Shanghai, nothing remains unchanged for long. You can't call yourself a Shanghaise if you are away too long, and that too long may only be half a year! I return to this city almost every year, yet I have so many things to see every time. When I returned to China ans went by this road which name I don't know, it was in good state, but when I was about to leave China about a month later, the same extension of about a kilometer was completely torn open. But, I'm confident that 2 months later, it will be in a perfect state.
Shanghai city is now like a unfinished building. Flaws everywhere, lots of reconstruction occuring everywhere. However, one thing is sure, they'll all be done before Expo2010. I believe chinese are famous for being due on schedule or maybe ahead of it.
Somehow, Shanghai city is overwhelming and when I was about to leave and look behind the time I spent there, for the first time since I left China when I was younger, I felt like staying in China for a living. Things sure change... Faster than I thought.

Crash

2009-07-16T03:36:00.003+08:00

One more aircraft down. Has it already broken the record? Was it what? One month? 3 airplanes crashed and at least one did an emergency landing.
And I'm going to ride a plane next week. Ah............ I'm getting scared.
It's the first time I'm hesitating about going somewhere by plane, but since the ticket has already been bought, I guess I have to go. It's hard to make up my mind. Let's not be too negative. It's going to be fine.
Let's wait for good news next week. 2 trips by plane, if one doesn't fall the other one may do so. If I'm lucky enough, and aircraft repairing staff does their work well enough, I may survive and post again next week.

Para onde caminhamos?

2009-04-26T22:09:00.005+08:00

Certo dia ao almoço, a expressão 'gripe suína' foi mencionada. O que daí veio, pouco se podia prever.

O que acontece quando se apanha grípe suína? A pergunta paira no ar, enquanto que o almoço, que no caso era entrecosto, ia sendo comido. Bom... teoricamente, uma gripe é uma gripe, ou seja, o vírus possivelmente tem uma taxa de mutabilidade elevada. Então, não vale a pena ter uma vacina, a não ser que seja actualizada todos os anos , por exemplo. E.....

Isto leva-nos ao teste de Biologia 12ºano onde vinha a pergunta sobre a possibilidade da existência de uma vacina para a SIDA (AIDS). O que nos leva a como a SIDA é transmitida. O que erradamente lembrou alguém de mosquitos. E mosquitos leva a malária. (As voltas que uma conversa pode dar.)

Alguém referiu o facto do governo chinês ter fornecido a técnica de um certo tratamento para a malária a países africanos. O que pôs um certo alguém a pensar nas investigações a decorrer nos vários países desenvolvidos do mundo.

E tudo isto seria uma introdução? Para quê? Para chegar a ideologias de que ninguém quer saber? Que seja.

O objectivo inicial da investigação científico-tecnológico seria o de aumentar o conhecimento e consequentemente pôr esse conhecimento ao serviço do Homem (que algum dia se passará a escrever sem o H inicial). E se vires bem agora, tenho quase a certeza que a maioria dos medicamentos e tratamentos não estão ao serviço daqueles que precisam. Qual a utilidade de ter uma patente para um dado medicamento se isso não ajudar as pessoas a sobreviver? Pergunto-me se os investigadores nunca se sente frustrados com a inutilidade daquilo que fazem e produzem. Sim, porque apesar de um punhado de gentinha puder usar alguns medicamentos avançados para curar doenças altamente prejudiciais, entretanto milhares de pessoas podem estar morrer. O que nos leva ao capitalismo.

É certo que o capitalismo é a solução certa para o mundo. É por isso que temos capitalismo por todo o lado. Mas, o capitalismo não deixa de ter muitos, muitos, mesmo muitos problemas. O que nos faz querer virar um pouco para o comunismo ou socialismo? Ou não. Não, definitivamente.

A questão é: Um sistema problemático capaz de sustentar o mundo (ou pelo menos grande parte dela) ou um sistema ideal incapaz de se alcançar enquanto o Homem for Homem?

É certo que podemos pôr o socialismo em prática, o que leva a... sabe-se lá o quê a que chamaria catolicamente de apocalipse. É certo que o capitalismo sustenta todos os países desenvolvidos, e muitos em desenvolvimento, mas, mesmo dentro do capitalismo, as pessoas apelam à caridade. Isto não será uma manifestação do desejo de comunismo? Mas para isso, é preciso que todos trabalhem de boa vontade e cumpram com responsabilidade a sua parte, o que não vai acontecer, não até o Homem deixar de ser Homem. É a natureza do Homem. (pelo menos de muitos homens e mulheres.)

No meio de todo um mundo caótico, para onde caminhamos?